Synopsis: An unemployed and desperate Megan Draper asks her husband to help her get a part at a commercial foregoing her distaste for advertising. Meanwhile, Pete Campbell learns that Beth Dawes is being institutionalized once again and comes to regret the life he built.
Episode Summary: Megan Draper has become desperate enough to pay for a screen test that a company promised to send to agents subconsciously knowing that the promised service is a fraud. Marie Calvet, who is visiting, makes the mistake of calling Megan hopeless, but catches herself to correct her statement attributing her mistake to the misuse of the English language. Megan and Emily review casting notices while delighting at Julia’s failure. The TV show Dark Shadows fired Julia after only three days of work. The incessant ringing of the phone that Megan knows to be from a prankster and Marie’s departure interrupt their schadenfreude. Left alone, Emily decides to ask Megan a favor. She asks her to use Don to get her an audition for the Butler Shoes commercial. Emily heard that the ad agency is looking for a European type to fill the role for the fairytale inspired commercial. Megan is hesitant to help her friend fully aware that Don will disapprove, but acquiesces to the request.Continue reading...
Howard and Beth Dawes join Pete Campbell on the train. Pete notices the luggage they have brought with them and learns that Beth will be staying with her sister for a while. Pete’s prying caused Beth to decide to seat at the smoker instead. Beth, posing as Pete’s sister-in-law, surprises him with a call in his office and instructions for him to meet her at Hotel Pennsylvania at noon under the name Mrs. Campbell. Pete’s reluctance to comply comes from his pride. Pete has not forgotten how Beth stood him up the last time he had asked for her to come.
Harry Crane catches Joan Holloway Harris on her way up to the 38th floor and astutely deduces that the agency is looking into renting more space knowing that the previous occupants of the 38th floor had moved to Washington. Harry takes the opportunity to persuade Joan to give him a better office than the one he has now. Joan reminds him that the agency did offer Harry Lane’s old office, which he refused to accept for obvious reasons. The death of Lane Pryce remains fresh in their minds that Don Draper, who is suffering from excruciating pain from his tooth, arrives at the office and finds a man that resembled his deceased brother, Adam Whitman. Adam like Lane used the same method to commit suicide. He calls to Adam, but the man just looks at him without recognition. He then finds himself ensnared into the meeting with Topaz after the client rejects the strategy of insinuating that their product is cheap. Topaz would like to convey the inexpensiveness of their product without depreciating its value. Clearly, the client is displeased with the work and hinted missing the work of Peggy Olson, the woman that landed Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce the Topaz account. Frustrations rise leading to an argument between Don and Ginsberg that has become recurrent that Stan Rizzo found the display boring.
Peggy is not satisfied with her new role as Copy Chief as well as she finds her staff lacking of the competence she had been used to dealing with at Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce. Ted Chaough’s confidence in her made her decision to join his agency worthwhile especially when he assigns her the Philip Morris account. News of Philip Morris putting Leo Burnett on review has circulated in the advertising world causing other agencies to snatch the account. Ted puts Peggy in charge of the campaign that will win them the account for Philip Morris’ new, top-secret ladies’ cigarette brand.
Joan presides over the partners meeting that delivered the fortunate news of an uptick in their profit due to sizeable checks from their clients. Only Bertram Cooper received the news well for Don remains pessimistic and the others are preoccupied with other thoughts. The empty chair reminds Joan of the man that constantly weighed their good and bad fortune. She finds that with Lane gone, it now becomes her responsibility to voice the negatives. She raises the issue of procuring more office space until the next quarter giving them cushion for any unforeseen financial problems. Nobody, however, would want to discuss the issue any longer that the partners agree to table the discussion in the meantime.
Pete despite his pride is so anxious to meet with Beth that he makes Don his proxy for the vote. He arrives at Beth’s room angry with himself for his weakness and learns that the woman wanted to see him before she goes through shock therapy. Beth, who has gone through shock treatment several times, wants to spend time with him aware that the treatment will put her in a haze for a period. Pete is reluctant to sleep with Beth after hearing of her mental illness, but his lust for her overcomes him. Pete believes that he has fallen in love with Beth and asks her to run away with him to Los Angeles. Beth does not take his offer seriously. Pete returns home and finds plans for the swimming pool Trudy wants built. Instead of sharing the excitement of having a pool, Pete worries that their child, Tammy, would drown in it. This upsets the toddler and Trudy, who finds Pete depressing. Pete impersonating Beth’s non-existent brother pays Beth a visit, but he finds her a completely changed woman, one without the recollection of him. Pete prepares to leave, but Beth insists on him staying. He soon finds himself divulging the insecurities brought about by his aging that he tries to assuage by having an affair with another man’s wife. Pete comes to a realization that the life he built is not the life he truly wanted. He falls asleep on the train ride home only to be awakened by Howard, who persuades Pete to join him on a night of debauchery. Pete expresses his disgust at Howard for having the time of his life after sending his wife to a mental institution. Howard realizes that it was Pete with whom his wife was having an affair. He engages in an altercation with Pete that caused the other passengers to break them apart. The train conductor asks Pete to apologize to Howard, but he refuses to do so and ends up insulting the conductor who later punches Pete and throws him out of the train. Pete arrives home with a severely bruised face alarming Trudy. Trudy feels sorry for Pete and concedes to her husband’s old request of having an apartment in the city in order for him to avoid the late hour commute.
Megan informs Don of having heard about the “Beauty and the Beast” commercial for Butler Shoes and asks his help to get her the part in the advertisement betraying her friend, Emily, in the process. Don is surprised with Megan’s request given her aversion to advertising, a repugnance she is quick to deny. Megan argues that the part will give her the exposure she needs. Don is disinclined to concede to Megan’s request for he finds it embarrassing to ask his client to hire his wife. Seeing that Don will not grant her wish, Megan foregoes the request. Don reasons that Megan would regret getting the part because of him for it would be best to be somebody’s discovery instead of somebody’s wife. The incessant ringing of the telephone interrupts their conversation. Megan explains that she has been getting the crank calls all day leading Don to answer it instead. He hears a man’s voice on the other line asking for Marie and mistakes it as Megan’s father, Emile, when it truly is Roger with a phony French accent. Roger invites Marie to his hotel room at The Stanhope and the woman accepts. A window of opportunity arrives when Megan is too depressed to accompany her to The Cloisters following Don’s rejection of her request. Marie arrives at The Stanhope and she immediately lies on Roger’s bed. Roger explains his desire to cease the day given the way one of his partners ended his life and asks Marie to take LSD with him that he may fully appreciate the time he has with her. Marie rejects the offer and states her distaste for having to take care of Roger. Marie merely wants to have fun. Roger understands and frolics with the carefree woman.
Joan Holloway Harris receives the letter for the one hundred and seventy-five thousand dollar death benefit from the company insurance policy. It is money that will allow them to purchase more space for their agency. She could not help, but feel guilty for profiting over Lane Pryce’s suicide. Don recommends paying back the fifty-thousand dollar collateral Lane put in the agency after Lucky Strike left. Don personally delivers the check to Rebecca Pryce. She finds the act as a way for Don to appease his guilt instead of an act of charity. Don arrives home to find his wife heavily intoxicated. Megan has been waiting for him ready to be with him, but Don’s toothache gets in the way. Megan could not take another rejection. She explains that she needs Don to want her for she has come to believe that her only worth is to satisfy her husband’s needs. Marie arrives and gets reproach from Don for leaving her daughter in such a state. She passes the blame on Don after claiming that Megan left her home a happy child a stark contrast from the woman she is now, one that has an artistic temperament despite the absence of artistic talent. Marie advises Don to nurse her through a defeat that he may have the life he desires.
Don finally sees a dentist who informs him that his tooth should have been extracted days ago. He imagines having a conversation with his late brother Adam whose presence has haunted him since Lane’s suicide. Adam tells him that it is not Don’s tooth that is rotten. Don begs Adam not to leave him. Don comes to and finds his rotten tooth taken out. He decides to go to the movies and bumps into Peggy Olson, who is very delighted to see him. Don worries that Peggy is already avoiding her new office, but learns that she merely is taking his advice. Peggy, in fact, is happy at her new agency and is excited with riding the plane to Richmond, Virginia to tour the cigarette factory as part of research for the much-coveted Philip Morris women’s cigarette account. Don returns to the office later that night and watches Megan’s audition reel. Soon, Megan is cast as Beauty for the Butler Shoes commercial and her adoration for Don grows. Don watches his wife as he takes her place at the rehearsal. His love for her diminishes and he considers the offer of a woman at the bar.
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Sunday, 29 June 2014
Sunday, 22 June 2014
Mr. Monk and the Missing Granny - Monk Transcript 2.13
Special thanks to Peter for transcribing Mr. Monk and the Missing Granny. Well done!
Grandma: 8:30 Biography, ah, they’re doing George Clooney. If I were 10 years younger, I’d be all over that man. Sex and the City...I don’t think so. You’re too young to be watching that one. I think. You know, I don’t even know how old you are. If nobody claims you by next week, I’m adopting you. Would you like that?
Kidnapper 1: Shut up!
Kidnapper 2: Throw that over.
Julie: Hey, what are you doing?
Kidnapper 2: Careful.
Julie: Nana! Nana! Nana! Help! Somebody!
Continue reading...
Captain Stottlemeyer: A lightning bolt.
Lt. Disher: We think it’s a calling card. There was a radical group in the early 70’s...the Lightning Brigade. They were involved in some ROTC bombings...
Captain Stottlemeyer: I know who the Lightning Brigade was, Lieutenant. I remember the 70’s; at least some of it. You OK?
Lt. Disher: They have a cat; I’m allergic to cats.
Captain Stottlemeyer: OK, we’ve got two, short hours before this phone call. Are we ready?
Police Officer: Yeah, we’re all set, Captain. We’ve got two recorders ready to roll and the phone company is on line for an immediate trap-and-trace.
Captain Stottlemeyer: How long do we need?
Police Officer: Well, if it’s a land line, we got ‘em; if it’s a cell phone,...
Captain Stottlemeyer: ...which it will be.
Police Officer: ...we’ll need 45 seconds.
Julie: Excuse me, Captain Stottlemeyer? Hello, I’m Julie Parlow. Uh, where is the FBI? This is a kidnapping. I happen to be a lawyer, so I know in a kidnapping situation, the FBI has jurisprudence.
Lt. Disher: That’s only true if your grandmother has been taken across the state lines.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Or if she has been held for more than 24 hours. And I think you meant to say ‘jurisdiction,’ right? What kind of lawyer are you?
Julie: Well, I never said I was lawyer.
Lt. Disher: Yes, you did.
Julie: I’m a law student at Garland College. And I know that I have certain rights. And if you don’t do everything to get my grandmother back, I could sue you all for malpractice.
Captain Stottlemeyer: No, you can’t.
Julie: I can’t?
Captain Stottlemeyer: No. Miss Parlow, you live here with your grandmother, right?
Julie: Yeah, I moved in after both my parents died. That was four years ago.
Lt. Disher: So it’s just the two of you?
Julie: Well, yes sir. Well, and the cat.
Lt. Disher: Yeah, I know about the cat.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Is your grandmother wealthy?
Julie: No, that’s why this doesn’t make any sense. Why Nana? She’s 76 years old, she’s not rich, she doesn’t have an enemy in the world and she’s out there somewhere right now scared to death. Captain, you’ve got to do something. Oh, what about that detective I was reading about? The Monk?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk. His name is Monk.
Julie: Yeah, I read an article about him. They quoted you. You said he was brilliant.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yeah, um, Adrian Monk is a former homicide detective who we use on a consulting basis from time to time, once we’ve hit a wall. But we haven’t hit a wall, Miss Parlow. Everything is under control.
Lt. Disher: Sorry.
Monk: Careful. Slowly. Concentrate. Be the dotted line. Come in, it’s open.
Julie: Adrian Monk?
Monk: You’re not Sharona.
Julie: No, sir. My name’s Julie Parlow. I need your help. It’s my grandmother. She’s been kidnapped. Thank you.
Monk: OK, we’ll just keep it right there, if you need it again.
Julie: Mr. Monk, you’re a private consultant now, right? I want to hire you. There’s just one thing. I can’t pay you.
Monk: Well, that’s a problem. My assistant, Sharona, won’t let me take any more cases for free.
Julie: But doesn’t she work for you?
Monk: Well, it’s complicated.
Julie: Here’s the thing. I don’t have any money, but I can pay you in trade. If you help me, I can help you.
Monk: What are we talking about here?
Julie: I can get you reinstated.
Monk: Reinstated?
Julie: I know you want your badge back more than anything. And I already talked to Professor Emory about your situation.
Monk: Professor Em---Eugene Emory? At Garland College?
Julie: That’s right. I’m in his class.
Monk: Oh my God! I just read his book.
Julie: Oh, yeah! We have a test on that next week.
Monk: It’s wonderful.
Julie: What’s it about?
Monk: Well, it’s an argument for tort reform. Professor Emory feels that we can eliminate all superfluous litigation if we cap punitive damages and hold the plaintiff liable for any court expenses. But I’m sure you could get out of the test, because of your grandmother...
Julie: Right!
Monk: But you did talk to Professor Emory, Eugene Emory, about me?
Julie: Yeah, he said he could definitely get you reinstated; guaranteed it.
Monk: How?
Julie: I’ll tell you when my grandmother is home safe and sound. Do we have a deal?
Monk: I could always call Professor Emory myself. But I won’t.
Sharona: She can get you reinstated?
Monk: She talked to Eugene Emory, the Pulitzer Prize winner. There’s some sort of loophole in the law. It’s too good to be true.
Sharona: Exactly. You OK?
Lt. Disher: She has a cat.
Sharona: Why don’t you tell her to bring it upstairs?
Lt. Disher: No, it doesn’t matter. If a cat’s been in the house for the last year, I can’t stop sneezing.
Sharona: Really. Remind me to buy you a cat.
Lt. Disher: Well, at least you won’t be alone Saturday nights.
Julie: Is anybody hungry? I made these pastries while we were waiting just to keep my mind off things.
Sharona: Oh, thanks.
Lt. Disher: No.
Sharona: These are really good. Delicious! You could sell these.
Julie: Actually, it’s always been my dream to open up my own bakery.
Sharona: So, why are you in law school?
Julie: Oh, well, that’s what my parents always wanted. So I used their life insurance money to pay for the tuition.
Sharona: But if you’re not happy.
Julie: Well, you don’t want to disappoint your parents, even if they’re not here. Well, especially if they’re not here.
Sharona: I understand.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Not a word. She’s alone in the house. Now, nobody’s in the room, but her. Julie, we need 45 seconds. OK? You can do it.
Julie: Hello?
Kidnapper: This is the Lightning Brigade. All the power to the people. We have your grandmother.
Julie: Is she alright?
Kidnapper: She’s fine. And if you want her to stay that way, do exactly what we say. And don’t try to keep us on the phone, Julie. We’re not stupid.
Julie: Well, um, OK, but can I talk to her?
Kidnapper: I said she’s fine. Don’t you trust me?
Julie: Yeah, but she has a heart condition. She needs her medication.
Kidnapper: You better listen carefully. Here’s what I need you to do.
Julie: Do you want me to hang up? Is that what you want?
Kidnapper: Who’s there? Oh, you blew it, honey.
Police Officer: 41 seconds. We missed him.
Monk: She had something on her cheek.
Julie: Do you think they’ll call again?
Monk: I don’t think so.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Sharona, watch him.
Julie: That wasn’t the police. I’m just really nervous. OK? I swear.
Kidnapper: Don’t be nervous. Here’s what we need you to do. There are hundreds of homeless people in the Mission District. They suffer needlessly while, just blocks away, the rich stuff their fat faces in fancy restaurants.
Julie: We’re not rich.
Kidnapper: Shut up and listen. Tonight, we are re-distributing a little wealth. I want you to buy every homeless person in the Mission District a turkey dinner.
Julie: A turkey dinner?
Kidnapper: Just do it! And grandma will be home before you know it.
Julie: Well, what time do you...
Police Officer: She didn’t get it.
Captain Stottlemeyer: They want turkey dinners for all the homeless people in the Mission District. What the hell’s going on?
Sharona: This is crazy. What kind of ransom demand is this?
Monk: I know. The kidnappers are risking life in prison for what? $500 worth of food? The shelter on 3rd is serving turkey tonight anyway.
Sharona: Well, we can’t stand around here like this. We don’t exactly blend in.
Monk: Do you have a suggestion?
Sharona: This is crazy.
Monk: It doesn’t matter. I’m getting my badge back.
Sharona: I’ll believe that when I see it. Julie Parlow didn’t exactly seem like Supreme Court material.
Monk: Gravy?
Man: No, thanks.
Monk: Everyone else is having gravy.
Man: I don’t like it.
Monk: Why don’t you have just a little gravy?
Sharona: He doesn’t want any gravy.
Monk: I think the gentleman can speak for himself.
Man: I don’t want any gravy.
Monk: OK, sure. Enjoy your meal. Oh my God!
Sharona: What are you suppose to be?
Lt. Disher: I’m undercover. I’m homeless.
Sharona: What’s that on your face?
Lt. Disher: Dirt.
Sharona: Get the lady some gravy.
Monk: Here it is.
Man: Here what is?
Monk: Didn’t you just ask for gravy?
Man: I didn’t say anything.
Monk: Oh. Well, here it is.
Man: I told you I don’t want it.
Monk: OK, how about this? You have some gravy.
Man: And?
Monk: And that’s it.
Police Officer: We got her. We got her back. They dropped her off two blocks away.
Lt. Disher: Call EMS. It’s me.
Sharona: How’s Grandma Parlow doing?
Captain Stottlemeyer: She’s a tough old bird.
Monk: But she can’t id the kidnappers?
Lt. Disher: Blindfolded the whole time.
Captain Stottlemeyer: But, she thinks she’s heard their voices before. She just can’t remember where.
Sharona: Well, at least they didn’t hurt her.
Lt. Disher: No, she was treated pretty well considering. They even kept saying, “Be careful” when they carried her out of the house.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yeah, they fed her pizza, all the pizza she could eat. I can’t even get pizza at my house.
Lt. Disher: And get this. They played opera. The old lady said she could hear it through the door.
Monk: Kidnappers are into opera. What kind of revolution is this?
Captain Stottlemeyer: We’re about to find out. We picked up Ron Abrash this morning. He was the leader of the Lightning Brigade 30 years ago.
Lt. Disher: He’s in the box now.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Do you want to sit in?
Monk: You’re asking me? To sit in?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yeah. I heard you might be getting your badge back; it’d be good practice for you.
Monk: Thanks. I’m going in.
Lt. Disher: Cool. It will be the three of us. Good cop, bad cop, worse cop.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Randy, it’s a two-man job. Just wait here.
Lt. Disher: OK, I’ll just wait here and...
Sharona: ...weep openly.
Lt. Disher: Do some paperwork.
Sharona: While you weep openly.
Ron: Don’t you people read the papers? The Brigade is ancient history. We broke up, like, 25 years ago. Besides, all we cared about was the war. Remember the war?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yeah, I remember the war. I had a brother over there. So, you’re denying any involvement in the kidnapping of Mrs. Parlow.
Ron: Of course I deny it. Demanding free turkey dinners? That’s insane. Besides, I’m a vegan.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Alright, Ronnie, where were you yesterday at 7:30 in the morning?
Ron: I was in my classroom. I teach graduate level English and screenwriting at Berkley. Call them. Check it out. The most radical thing I do these days is give the finger to jerks driving SUVs.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Alright, maybe it wasn’t you. Maybe it was some of your old playmates trying to relive their glory days.
Monk: Maybe they missed the buzz. You look familiar, Ronnie. Didn’t I see you last week at the opera?
Ron: The opera? What have you been smoking, man?
Monk: I’ve been smoking the truth, man!
Ron: What are you guys doing? Good Cop, crazy cop?
Monk: Ronnie, could you roll up your left sleeve?
Ron: Alright, so I still have the tattoo. It doesn’t mean anything. It’s like having an old girlfriend’s name on your arm. It doesn’t mean you still love her.
Monk: That lightning bolt has three jags.
Ron: That’s right. Resist. Revolt. Reform. That was our motto.
Monk: Captain, can I talk to you for a second? Captain, I don’t think it was him or anybody in his group. You heard him. Each of those three jags means something. Any real member of the brigade would have known that. But, look, look what was painted on Mrs. Parlow’s wall.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Two jags. How did you know he had a tattoo on his arm?
Monk: I didn’t. His other sleeve was rolled up.
Captain Stottlemeyer: It wasn’t even.
Monk: Exactly. I don’t think this was about politics at all. There is something else going on here.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Well, you knock yourself out, Monk. As far as we are concerned, this is on the back burner; wasn’t exactly the crime of the century. Turkey for the people, right on!
Julie: I’ll bring the car around. Be home in half an hour.
Grandma: Julie. Julie, what is it?
Julie: I never should have left you alone. I should have been there.
Grandma: Oh, honey, this is not your fault. I should have stabbed him in his particulars when I had the chance.
Julie: What would I do if anything ever happened to you?
Grandma: You would have had a brilliant, rich, full life. You would have met a man, had children and you’d name one after me. And then, open up that bakery you’re always going on about. That’s all I was thinking about when I was locked up in that horrible room.
Sharona: So, you have to be home by 5:00, OK? Hi, Julie.
Julie: Nana, this is Sharona Flemming. She works for Adrian Monk, the detective I was telling you about.
Sharona: Hi, Mrs. Parlow, how are you feeling?
Grandma: I’m better. Tell me, is it true they said they arrested a hippie that belonged to that group, the Lightning Rods?
Sharona: Yeah, the Lightning Brigade.
Grandma: I should have stabbed him in his particulars.
Sharona: Well, actually my boss doesn’t think they were involved at all. He thinks somebody was framing them. Julie, can I just talk to you for a sec?
Julie: Nana, I will be right there.
Sharona: Um, I just want to make sure that you remember what you promised Adrian. You know that if he helped you...
Julie: Oooh, yeah, about getting him reinstated. Just come by the law school library tonight. I’ll be there with my whole study group.
Sharona: Great, great. I just want to let you know that he’s really counting on this. It really means a lot to him.
Julie: Look, I understand; a deal’s a deal, I mean, it’s like we have a verbal, what’s the word? Verbal, I’m drawing a blank...
Sharona: ...contract.
Julie: That’s it!
Reporter: Ms. Parlow, excuse me, why do you think the lightning Brigade targeted your grandmother?
Julie: We have no idea.
Reporter: Is she a political activist?
Julie: An activist? No, no, no, my grandmother doesn’t even vote. Besides, Adrian Monk, the most respected detective in San Francisco, doesn’t even think the Brigade is involved at all.
Reporter: The police don’t seem to care about the case at all. They’re calling it a harmless prank. Any comment?
Julie: Well, Adrian Monks cares. And he is not going to quit until he find the people or peoples responsible for committing this horrible crime.
Reporter: Thank You, Miss Parlow.
Julie: Hey, guys. Adrian Monk, Sharona Flemming. This is my study group. Edie Rushert, Tom Burton and Sasha Gordon.
Sharona: Are you studying in Spanish?
Tom: Yeah, I’m taking my next bar exam in Peru. It’s all true and false down there.
Monk: Doesn’t that mean you’ll only be able to practice in Peru?
Sharona: Do any of you have any professional experience yet?
Julie: Oh, well, we’ve done a lot of pro bono work.
Sasha: Last year, we assisted in two death penalty cases; Sal Dickerson and Bill Jansen.
Monk: Dickerson and Jansen? Weren’t they...
Sasha: I miss them every day.
Edie: That’s how you learn; by making mistakes. Now we know, if you are filing a stay of execution, you have to take into account Daylight Savings Time.
Tom: The law’s hard, Mr. Monk. I mean, look at all these books. And there are more upstairs.
Monk: About my reinstatement, you guys definitely talked, in person, to Professor Emory, Eugene Emory?
Julie: Absolutely. These are his notes right here. Professor Emory said it can’t fail.
Monk: It can’t fail.
Julie: OK, so here’s the plan. We sue the police department under Title I, Section 102 B.
Edie: The ADA prohibits discrimination against a qualified individual in regard to hiring, advancement or discharge of employee.
Sharona: The ADA?
Tom: The Americans with Disabilities Act. It’s been the law since 1990.
Monk: Disabilities.
Julie: Well, lucky for you, all your phobias and obsessive behavior have been well-documented, so you could have your badge back as early as next week.
Edie: All you have to do is take a test.
Sasha: No biggie; just 20 or 30 questions about department protocol.
Tom: A mere formality.
Julie: It’s up to you. Shall I file this or not?
Monk: Am I disabled?
Sharona: Well, it’s the only way.
Monk: OK, do it.
Clerk: Excuse me, are you Adrian Monk? A man just gave me this note for you.
Monk: I thought you were...the note said to come alone.
Sharona: Well, this is as alone as you’re going to get. Where is he?
Monk: I don’t know.
Sharona: Oh, God, this place is creeping me out. Let’s go back downstairs.
Monk: Hold on.
Sharona: Will you forget about the book? They have librarians for that.
Monk: It’ll just take a second.
Sharona: Oh My God! Adrian? Adrian! Adrian?!
Sharona: Oh my God!
Adrian: A little help!
Sharona: Oh my God, Adrian! Don’t let go!
Monk: Don’t let go. That’s good advice. I better write that down or I’m going to forget it.
Sharona: Don’t worry, they’ll be down in a minute. OK, here’s another question. A man is blocking the main entrance of a store. What is the charge?
Monk: Obstructing a public access.
Sharona: That’s right. The test used to determine whether a hand gun...
Monk: The Pariffin – Diphenylamine Test. Are all the questions going to be this easy?
Sharona: I think so. This is the official practice book.
Monk: Then I am in, baby. I already had my old uniform cleaned and pressed.
Sharona: Adrian, don’t you think that’s a little pre-mature?
Adrian: It’s not pre-mature, it’s perfectly mature. Sharona, I’m back.
Julie: Look who’s awake. Are you ready for your test?
Monk: A piece of cake.
Sharona: Mrs. Parlow, how are you feeling?
Grandma: Oh, don’t worry about me. I heard what happened to you in the library.
Monk: It just means we’re just getting close; somebody’s getting nervous, Mrs. Parlow. So now I want to try to find out exactly where they took you. Sharona, do you have that map?
Grandma: Alright, but I told the chief of police I couldn’t help him. I had an afghan over my head.
Monk: Maybe we will be able to figure it out anyway.
Sharona: We’re here. What are you doing?
Monk: Just smoothing it out. What else do you remember about the trip?
Grandma: Well, like I said, I didn’t see a thing.
Monk: Did you hear anything?
Grandma: No, I’m sorry.
Monk: Did you smell anything?
Grandma: You know, now that you mention it, I did. I smelled fresh bread.
Monk: Bread.
Julie: Oh my God, there’s a big bakery on Clarkson Boulevard. You can smell it when you drive past.
Grandma: And then we stopped for 4 or maybe 5 minutes.
Monk: Why so long?
Sharona: Were they getting gas?
Grandma: No.
Monk: It could have been a draw bridge.
Sharona: Oh my God! Third Street drawbridge across Channel.
Grandma: Then just a few minutes later, we got to their house and it was exactly 8:00.
Sharona: How do you know that?
Grandma: My watch was beeping. You see, I set it so that I don’t forget to take my ticker pills. And it was raining.
Sharona: Are you sure? It wasn’t raining all week.
Grandma: Listen, missy, I think I know what rain feels like and that’s what I felt when they carried me from the van into the house. And you know, that wasn’t all. Cough drops.
Julie: Cough drops?
Grandma: I distinctly smelled cough drops.
Monk: Eucalyptus trees. They smell like cough drops.
Monk: There’s the big bakery. Turn here. You got to turn. Turn here!
Sharona: Will you relax? I’m turning.
Monk: OK, there’s the drawbridge. Stop the car! The bridge is up.
Sharona: Do you want to drive?
Monk: No, you’re doing fine.
Sharona: This has to be the block. I can smell the eucalyptus from here. OK, which house?
Monk: We’ll know in a few seconds.
Sharona: What do you mean?
Monk: Mrs. Parlow said it was raining at exactly 8:00. But what she felt wasn’t rain. Automatic sprinkler system.
Sharona: That’s our house. Which one is it?
Monk: That one. They fed her pizza, remember?
Sharona: You’re going to be a pretty good cop. Now what?
Monk: Now, we take a picture of whoever comes out of the house. Mrs. Parlow said she recognized their voices. Maybe she knows who they are.
Sharona: How are we going to get their picture?
Monk: I don’t know! Why don’t you think of something. I did the sprinkler thing, it’s your turn.
Sharona: Oh, so now we’re taking turns?
Monk: Yes, now we’re taking turns.
Sharona: Since when?
Monk: It’s our new policy. Didn’t you get my memo?
Sharona: Stay here. I’ll send you a memo.
Monk: What did you say?
Sharona: Nothing.
Monk: I heard the word ‘memo.’
Sharona: Just stay here and study for your test. Get the camera ready!
Carol: Harold, what’s going on?
Harold: Nothing. Cars have a mind of their own. German engineering, my ass. I don’t see anything.
Grandma: Well, strike my pretty.
Monk: You do recognize them?
Grandma: Oh, yes, they were here just last week. Remember? They came about the cat.
Julie: Two weeks ago, Nana took in a stray cat. It didn’t have a collar; we didn’t know who it belong to.
Grandma: We were worried about you.
Julie: I ran off some fliers and put them up and the next day, this couple called us.
Monk: Harold and Carol Maloney. They own an antique store on Grandess Boulevard.
Sharona: It’s 5 blocks away.
Grandma: I knew there was something sneaky about them. Do you know where I should have stabbed them?
Sharona: Yeah, I think we do.
Julie: Their cat had run away a few days ago, so they came over, but it wasn’t theirs.
Monk: Is that it? They just looked at the cat?
Sharona: Did they say or do anything unusual?
Julie: No, they were here just a few minutes.
Grandma: We never saw them again.
Julie: Mr. Monk, I don’t understand. They’re antique dealers. What do they want with Nana? And what’s all this crap about turkey dinners?
Monk: I don’t know...yet.
Sharona: Why don’t we call the Captain?
Monk: Let’s wait until tomorrow. I should have more clout by then.
Grandma: What do you mean?
Monk: Well, thanks to your granddaughter, by this time tomorrow, I’ll be back on the force.
Proctor: Have a seat right here. You have 30 minutes to answer all 50 questions. Make sure you fill in the little circles completely so the computer can read them.
Monk: What if I finish early?
Proctor: You might want to check your work.
Monk: I don’t think that’ll be necessary.
Proctor: Are you ready? Go! Good luck. Yes?
Monk: Could you take one of these off the table?
Proctor: Why?
Monk: I can’t have two. I get confused.
Proctor: Which one?
Monk: This one. No, wait! You know what? That one. Wait. You better choose.
Proctor: Alright. OK?
Monk: Thanks. I’ll do the same for you sometime.
Proctor: You have a half hour.
Monk: No problem. No problem.
Proctor: Oh, you finished?
Monk: I need a new sheet.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Now, where is he?
Lt. Disher: He locked himself in.
Captain Stottlemeyer: In my office? I don’t think so. Hey, Monk, open the door. Let me guess. He didn’t pass the test.
Sharona: He didn’t quite finish.
Captain Stottlemeyer: How far did he get?
Sharona: He did one question.
Lt. Disher: Over and over and over.
Captain Stottlemeyer: What’s that?
Sharona: His pencil. Adrian, you can retake the test!
Monk: I’ll never pass.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Hey, Monk! Go find a key. Monk, listen to me. Listen, I think that you failed that test on purpose. You don’t want to get your badge back on a technicality, right? You want to earn it. You will. Adrian, you will. You’re going to be a great cop again. And you’re going to do it the right way. And I respect you for that. Now, open the door. Monk, open that damn door or I will give you until 3!
Monk: A.M. or P.M.?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Not three o’clock, you fool. One, two...What is that? Monk!
Lt. Disher: I think that’s your chair.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk! That’s my father’s chair. If you put one scratch on that chair, I’ll never forgive you. Monk, be careful with that chair! Move the chair, Monk! Monk, move the chair.
Sharona: You OK?
Monk: You said, “Be careful” because you love that chair.
Captain Stottlemeyer: That’s right.
Monk: The kidnappers said “Be careful,” when they carried Mrs. Parlow out of the house. They weren’t worried about her; they were worried about that chair.
Lt. Disher: What chair?
Monk: The chair she was tied to. That’s what this whole thing’s been about.
Julie: That’s my grandmother’s chair. I recognize it.
Harold: She’s lying. People make false claims about pieces like this all the time.
Sharona: You like opera?
Carol: Yes, we love it. Is that a crime?
Sharona: Should be.
Harold: Oh, Captain, please!
Captain Stottlemeyer: Tell me about the chair, Mr. Maloney.
Harold: I’d be happy to. It is a fanback Windsor, in original finish, built 1774. Dealers like us wait our whole lives for a piece like this.
Carol: You note the engraving on the back in the shape of Monticello.
Harold: This chair was personally handcrafted by Thomas Jefferson. In fact, there is some evidence to support the fact that he sat in this very chair while he drafted the Declaration of Independence.
Lt. Disher: Does it swivel?
Captain Stottlemeyer: How much is it worth?
Carol: 2, maybe 2.5.
Lt. Disher: Million?
Harold: Yes, Lieutenant, million. Actually, we’ll find out for sure next week. We’re auctioning it off. I don’t imagine any of you will be bidding on it.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Where did you get it?
Julie: I’ll tell you where they got it. They stole it from my grandmother’s house.
Monk: She’s right. Your cat ran away. You saw the flyer and you went to their house looking for it and that’s where you saw the chair. You must have recognized it right away, but what could you do? You couldn’t offer to buy it. They might have had it appraised and that would have ruined everything.
Sharona: You couldn’t steal it. Cops would have been looking for it. You’d never be able to sell it.
Monk: Then you had an idea. It was brilliant, really. You kidnapped Mrs. Parlow and carried her out of the house with the chair, make some ridiculous ransom demand and then let her go. You figured anyone would be so relieved to have their Nana back, that they wouldn’t even remember the missing chair.
Harold: Prepare to be disappointed, Mr. Monk. I can prove provenance. I have a receipt.
Carol: We bought the chair from a dealer in Baton Rouge four years ago. Poor sap, he didn’t know what he was sitting on.
Harold: Literally!
Julie: I bet it’s a forgery. Forgery is a serious offense. It is a Class C felony. Or B. B or C, but...
Harold: The receipt will have to speak for itself; unfortunately, the dealer has since passed on.
Sharona: How convenient.
Harold: So, can you prove that the chair belongs to you? No. Interesting. OK, well, until you can, I suggest you all leave. It’s my dinner time.
Sharona: Well, that could have gone better.
Julie: Can’t we do anything?
Captain Stottlemeyer: I cannot question them officially unless you’ve got something, anything to prove you own that chair.
Lt. Disher: Do you have anything on paper?
Julie: No, Nana bought it at a flea market 20 years ago. She can’t even remember where.
Sharona: Do you have a picture of it?
Julie: I checked all our photo albums. Nothing.
Monk: Wait a minute. Listen.
Lt. Disher: Listen to what?
Monk: Listen to you. You’re not sneezing. You haven’t sneezed at all since we got here.
Sharona: That’s true.
Monk: The Maloney’s said they had a cat that ran away. That’s why they went to Julie’s house.
Julie: Right.
Monk: They lied. They never had a cat. Otherwise you’d be sneezing your head off.
Lt. Disher: You’re right. He’s right.
Julie: I’m lost, as usual.
Captain Stottlemeyer: If the Maloney’s never had a cat, why did they go to your house in the first place?
Monk: They must have known about the chair somehow. Do you still have a copy of that flyer?
Julie: Uh, I think so.
Captain Stottlemeyer: That’s the prettiest picture I’ve ever seen. Hi, folks, remember us? I was wondering if we could bother you again? Thank you.
Sharona: Congratulations, you solved the case.
Lt. Disher: Well, I had a little help.
Julie: Hi, Nana? Guess what? I’m quitting law school! I’m buying my own bakery! Yes, we can afford it. We can afford anything we want. I love you, Nana!
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Watch the Monk episode Mr. Monk and the Missing Granny
Grandma: 8:30 Biography, ah, they’re doing George Clooney. If I were 10 years younger, I’d be all over that man. Sex and the City...I don’t think so. You’re too young to be watching that one. I think. You know, I don’t even know how old you are. If nobody claims you by next week, I’m adopting you. Would you like that?
Kidnapper 1: Shut up!
Kidnapper 2: Throw that over.
Julie: Hey, what are you doing?
Kidnapper 2: Careful.
Julie: Nana! Nana! Nana! Help! Somebody!
Continue reading...
Captain Stottlemeyer: A lightning bolt.
Lt. Disher: We think it’s a calling card. There was a radical group in the early 70’s...the Lightning Brigade. They were involved in some ROTC bombings...
Captain Stottlemeyer: I know who the Lightning Brigade was, Lieutenant. I remember the 70’s; at least some of it. You OK?
Lt. Disher: They have a cat; I’m allergic to cats.
Captain Stottlemeyer: OK, we’ve got two, short hours before this phone call. Are we ready?
Police Officer: Yeah, we’re all set, Captain. We’ve got two recorders ready to roll and the phone company is on line for an immediate trap-and-trace.
Captain Stottlemeyer: How long do we need?
Police Officer: Well, if it’s a land line, we got ‘em; if it’s a cell phone,...
Captain Stottlemeyer: ...which it will be.
Police Officer: ...we’ll need 45 seconds.
Julie: Excuse me, Captain Stottlemeyer? Hello, I’m Julie Parlow. Uh, where is the FBI? This is a kidnapping. I happen to be a lawyer, so I know in a kidnapping situation, the FBI has jurisprudence.
Lt. Disher: That’s only true if your grandmother has been taken across the state lines.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Or if she has been held for more than 24 hours. And I think you meant to say ‘jurisdiction,’ right? What kind of lawyer are you?
Julie: Well, I never said I was lawyer.
Lt. Disher: Yes, you did.
Julie: I’m a law student at Garland College. And I know that I have certain rights. And if you don’t do everything to get my grandmother back, I could sue you all for malpractice.
Captain Stottlemeyer: No, you can’t.
Julie: I can’t?
Captain Stottlemeyer: No. Miss Parlow, you live here with your grandmother, right?
Julie: Yeah, I moved in after both my parents died. That was four years ago.
Lt. Disher: So it’s just the two of you?
Julie: Well, yes sir. Well, and the cat.
Lt. Disher: Yeah, I know about the cat.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Is your grandmother wealthy?
Julie: No, that’s why this doesn’t make any sense. Why Nana? She’s 76 years old, she’s not rich, she doesn’t have an enemy in the world and she’s out there somewhere right now scared to death. Captain, you’ve got to do something. Oh, what about that detective I was reading about? The Monk?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk. His name is Monk.
Julie: Yeah, I read an article about him. They quoted you. You said he was brilliant.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yeah, um, Adrian Monk is a former homicide detective who we use on a consulting basis from time to time, once we’ve hit a wall. But we haven’t hit a wall, Miss Parlow. Everything is under control.
Lt. Disher: Sorry.
Monk: Careful. Slowly. Concentrate. Be the dotted line. Come in, it’s open.
Julie: Adrian Monk?
Monk: You’re not Sharona.
Julie: No, sir. My name’s Julie Parlow. I need your help. It’s my grandmother. She’s been kidnapped. Thank you.
Monk: OK, we’ll just keep it right there, if you need it again.
Julie: Mr. Monk, you’re a private consultant now, right? I want to hire you. There’s just one thing. I can’t pay you.
Monk: Well, that’s a problem. My assistant, Sharona, won’t let me take any more cases for free.
Julie: But doesn’t she work for you?
Monk: Well, it’s complicated.
Julie: Here’s the thing. I don’t have any money, but I can pay you in trade. If you help me, I can help you.
Monk: What are we talking about here?
Julie: I can get you reinstated.
Monk: Reinstated?
Julie: I know you want your badge back more than anything. And I already talked to Professor Emory about your situation.
Monk: Professor Em---Eugene Emory? At Garland College?
Julie: That’s right. I’m in his class.
Monk: Oh my God! I just read his book.
Julie: Oh, yeah! We have a test on that next week.
Monk: It’s wonderful.
Julie: What’s it about?
Monk: Well, it’s an argument for tort reform. Professor Emory feels that we can eliminate all superfluous litigation if we cap punitive damages and hold the plaintiff liable for any court expenses. But I’m sure you could get out of the test, because of your grandmother...
Julie: Right!
Monk: But you did talk to Professor Emory, Eugene Emory, about me?
Julie: Yeah, he said he could definitely get you reinstated; guaranteed it.
Monk: How?
Julie: I’ll tell you when my grandmother is home safe and sound. Do we have a deal?
Monk: I could always call Professor Emory myself. But I won’t.
Sharona: She can get you reinstated?
Monk: She talked to Eugene Emory, the Pulitzer Prize winner. There’s some sort of loophole in the law. It’s too good to be true.
Sharona: Exactly. You OK?
Lt. Disher: She has a cat.
Sharona: Why don’t you tell her to bring it upstairs?
Lt. Disher: No, it doesn’t matter. If a cat’s been in the house for the last year, I can’t stop sneezing.
Sharona: Really. Remind me to buy you a cat.
Lt. Disher: Well, at least you won’t be alone Saturday nights.
Julie: Is anybody hungry? I made these pastries while we were waiting just to keep my mind off things.
Sharona: Oh, thanks.
Lt. Disher: No.
Sharona: These are really good. Delicious! You could sell these.
Julie: Actually, it’s always been my dream to open up my own bakery.
Sharona: So, why are you in law school?
Julie: Oh, well, that’s what my parents always wanted. So I used their life insurance money to pay for the tuition.
Sharona: But if you’re not happy.
Julie: Well, you don’t want to disappoint your parents, even if they’re not here. Well, especially if they’re not here.
Sharona: I understand.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Not a word. She’s alone in the house. Now, nobody’s in the room, but her. Julie, we need 45 seconds. OK? You can do it.
Julie: Hello?
Kidnapper: This is the Lightning Brigade. All the power to the people. We have your grandmother.
Julie: Is she alright?
Kidnapper: She’s fine. And if you want her to stay that way, do exactly what we say. And don’t try to keep us on the phone, Julie. We’re not stupid.
Julie: Well, um, OK, but can I talk to her?
Kidnapper: I said she’s fine. Don’t you trust me?
Julie: Yeah, but she has a heart condition. She needs her medication.
Kidnapper: You better listen carefully. Here’s what I need you to do.
Julie: Do you want me to hang up? Is that what you want?
Kidnapper: Who’s there? Oh, you blew it, honey.
Police Officer: 41 seconds. We missed him.
Monk: She had something on her cheek.
Julie: Do you think they’ll call again?
Monk: I don’t think so.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Sharona, watch him.
Julie: That wasn’t the police. I’m just really nervous. OK? I swear.
Kidnapper: Don’t be nervous. Here’s what we need you to do. There are hundreds of homeless people in the Mission District. They suffer needlessly while, just blocks away, the rich stuff their fat faces in fancy restaurants.
Julie: We’re not rich.
Kidnapper: Shut up and listen. Tonight, we are re-distributing a little wealth. I want you to buy every homeless person in the Mission District a turkey dinner.
Julie: A turkey dinner?
Kidnapper: Just do it! And grandma will be home before you know it.
Julie: Well, what time do you...
Police Officer: She didn’t get it.
Captain Stottlemeyer: They want turkey dinners for all the homeless people in the Mission District. What the hell’s going on?
Sharona: This is crazy. What kind of ransom demand is this?
Monk: I know. The kidnappers are risking life in prison for what? $500 worth of food? The shelter on 3rd is serving turkey tonight anyway.
Sharona: Well, we can’t stand around here like this. We don’t exactly blend in.
Monk: Do you have a suggestion?
Sharona: This is crazy.
Monk: It doesn’t matter. I’m getting my badge back.
Sharona: I’ll believe that when I see it. Julie Parlow didn’t exactly seem like Supreme Court material.
Monk: Gravy?
Man: No, thanks.
Monk: Everyone else is having gravy.
Man: I don’t like it.
Monk: Why don’t you have just a little gravy?
Sharona: He doesn’t want any gravy.
Monk: I think the gentleman can speak for himself.
Man: I don’t want any gravy.
Monk: OK, sure. Enjoy your meal. Oh my God!
Sharona: What are you suppose to be?
Lt. Disher: I’m undercover. I’m homeless.
Sharona: What’s that on your face?
Lt. Disher: Dirt.
Sharona: Get the lady some gravy.
Monk: Here it is.
Man: Here what is?
Monk: Didn’t you just ask for gravy?
Man: I didn’t say anything.
Monk: Oh. Well, here it is.
Man: I told you I don’t want it.
Monk: OK, how about this? You have some gravy.
Man: And?
Monk: And that’s it.
Police Officer: We got her. We got her back. They dropped her off two blocks away.
Lt. Disher: Call EMS. It’s me.
Sharona: How’s Grandma Parlow doing?
Captain Stottlemeyer: She’s a tough old bird.
Monk: But she can’t id the kidnappers?
Lt. Disher: Blindfolded the whole time.
Captain Stottlemeyer: But, she thinks she’s heard their voices before. She just can’t remember where.
Sharona: Well, at least they didn’t hurt her.
Lt. Disher: No, she was treated pretty well considering. They even kept saying, “Be careful” when they carried her out of the house.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yeah, they fed her pizza, all the pizza she could eat. I can’t even get pizza at my house.
Lt. Disher: And get this. They played opera. The old lady said she could hear it through the door.
Monk: Kidnappers are into opera. What kind of revolution is this?
Captain Stottlemeyer: We’re about to find out. We picked up Ron Abrash this morning. He was the leader of the Lightning Brigade 30 years ago.
Lt. Disher: He’s in the box now.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Do you want to sit in?
Monk: You’re asking me? To sit in?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yeah. I heard you might be getting your badge back; it’d be good practice for you.
Monk: Thanks. I’m going in.
Lt. Disher: Cool. It will be the three of us. Good cop, bad cop, worse cop.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Randy, it’s a two-man job. Just wait here.
Lt. Disher: OK, I’ll just wait here and...
Sharona: ...weep openly.
Lt. Disher: Do some paperwork.
Sharona: While you weep openly.
Ron: Don’t you people read the papers? The Brigade is ancient history. We broke up, like, 25 years ago. Besides, all we cared about was the war. Remember the war?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yeah, I remember the war. I had a brother over there. So, you’re denying any involvement in the kidnapping of Mrs. Parlow.
Ron: Of course I deny it. Demanding free turkey dinners? That’s insane. Besides, I’m a vegan.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Alright, Ronnie, where were you yesterday at 7:30 in the morning?
Ron: I was in my classroom. I teach graduate level English and screenwriting at Berkley. Call them. Check it out. The most radical thing I do these days is give the finger to jerks driving SUVs.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Alright, maybe it wasn’t you. Maybe it was some of your old playmates trying to relive their glory days.
Monk: Maybe they missed the buzz. You look familiar, Ronnie. Didn’t I see you last week at the opera?
Ron: The opera? What have you been smoking, man?
Monk: I’ve been smoking the truth, man!
Ron: What are you guys doing? Good Cop, crazy cop?
Monk: Ronnie, could you roll up your left sleeve?
Ron: Alright, so I still have the tattoo. It doesn’t mean anything. It’s like having an old girlfriend’s name on your arm. It doesn’t mean you still love her.
Monk: That lightning bolt has three jags.
Ron: That’s right. Resist. Revolt. Reform. That was our motto.
Monk: Captain, can I talk to you for a second? Captain, I don’t think it was him or anybody in his group. You heard him. Each of those three jags means something. Any real member of the brigade would have known that. But, look, look what was painted on Mrs. Parlow’s wall.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Two jags. How did you know he had a tattoo on his arm?
Monk: I didn’t. His other sleeve was rolled up.
Captain Stottlemeyer: It wasn’t even.
Monk: Exactly. I don’t think this was about politics at all. There is something else going on here.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Well, you knock yourself out, Monk. As far as we are concerned, this is on the back burner; wasn’t exactly the crime of the century. Turkey for the people, right on!
Julie: I’ll bring the car around. Be home in half an hour.
Grandma: Julie. Julie, what is it?
Julie: I never should have left you alone. I should have been there.
Grandma: Oh, honey, this is not your fault. I should have stabbed him in his particulars when I had the chance.
Julie: What would I do if anything ever happened to you?
Grandma: You would have had a brilliant, rich, full life. You would have met a man, had children and you’d name one after me. And then, open up that bakery you’re always going on about. That’s all I was thinking about when I was locked up in that horrible room.
Sharona: So, you have to be home by 5:00, OK? Hi, Julie.
Julie: Nana, this is Sharona Flemming. She works for Adrian Monk, the detective I was telling you about.
Sharona: Hi, Mrs. Parlow, how are you feeling?
Grandma: I’m better. Tell me, is it true they said they arrested a hippie that belonged to that group, the Lightning Rods?
Sharona: Yeah, the Lightning Brigade.
Grandma: I should have stabbed him in his particulars.
Sharona: Well, actually my boss doesn’t think they were involved at all. He thinks somebody was framing them. Julie, can I just talk to you for a sec?
Julie: Nana, I will be right there.
Sharona: Um, I just want to make sure that you remember what you promised Adrian. You know that if he helped you...
Julie: Oooh, yeah, about getting him reinstated. Just come by the law school library tonight. I’ll be there with my whole study group.
Sharona: Great, great. I just want to let you know that he’s really counting on this. It really means a lot to him.
Julie: Look, I understand; a deal’s a deal, I mean, it’s like we have a verbal, what’s the word? Verbal, I’m drawing a blank...
Sharona: ...contract.
Julie: That’s it!
Reporter: Ms. Parlow, excuse me, why do you think the lightning Brigade targeted your grandmother?
Julie: We have no idea.
Reporter: Is she a political activist?
Julie: An activist? No, no, no, my grandmother doesn’t even vote. Besides, Adrian Monk, the most respected detective in San Francisco, doesn’t even think the Brigade is involved at all.
Reporter: The police don’t seem to care about the case at all. They’re calling it a harmless prank. Any comment?
Julie: Well, Adrian Monks cares. And he is not going to quit until he find the people or peoples responsible for committing this horrible crime.
Reporter: Thank You, Miss Parlow.
Julie: Hey, guys. Adrian Monk, Sharona Flemming. This is my study group. Edie Rushert, Tom Burton and Sasha Gordon.
Sharona: Are you studying in Spanish?
Tom: Yeah, I’m taking my next bar exam in Peru. It’s all true and false down there.
Monk: Doesn’t that mean you’ll only be able to practice in Peru?
Sharona: Do any of you have any professional experience yet?
Julie: Oh, well, we’ve done a lot of pro bono work.
Sasha: Last year, we assisted in two death penalty cases; Sal Dickerson and Bill Jansen.
Monk: Dickerson and Jansen? Weren’t they...
Sasha: I miss them every day.
Edie: That’s how you learn; by making mistakes. Now we know, if you are filing a stay of execution, you have to take into account Daylight Savings Time.
Tom: The law’s hard, Mr. Monk. I mean, look at all these books. And there are more upstairs.
Monk: About my reinstatement, you guys definitely talked, in person, to Professor Emory, Eugene Emory?
Julie: Absolutely. These are his notes right here. Professor Emory said it can’t fail.
Monk: It can’t fail.
Julie: OK, so here’s the plan. We sue the police department under Title I, Section 102 B.
Edie: The ADA prohibits discrimination against a qualified individual in regard to hiring, advancement or discharge of employee.
Sharona: The ADA?
Tom: The Americans with Disabilities Act. It’s been the law since 1990.
Monk: Disabilities.
Julie: Well, lucky for you, all your phobias and obsessive behavior have been well-documented, so you could have your badge back as early as next week.
Edie: All you have to do is take a test.
Sasha: No biggie; just 20 or 30 questions about department protocol.
Tom: A mere formality.
Julie: It’s up to you. Shall I file this or not?
Monk: Am I disabled?
Sharona: Well, it’s the only way.
Monk: OK, do it.
Clerk: Excuse me, are you Adrian Monk? A man just gave me this note for you.
Monk: I thought you were...the note said to come alone.
Sharona: Well, this is as alone as you’re going to get. Where is he?
Monk: I don’t know.
Sharona: Oh, God, this place is creeping me out. Let’s go back downstairs.
Monk: Hold on.
Sharona: Will you forget about the book? They have librarians for that.
Monk: It’ll just take a second.
Sharona: Oh My God! Adrian? Adrian! Adrian?!
Sharona: Oh my God!
Adrian: A little help!
Sharona: Oh my God, Adrian! Don’t let go!
Monk: Don’t let go. That’s good advice. I better write that down or I’m going to forget it.
Sharona: Don’t worry, they’ll be down in a minute. OK, here’s another question. A man is blocking the main entrance of a store. What is the charge?
Monk: Obstructing a public access.
Sharona: That’s right. The test used to determine whether a hand gun...
Monk: The Pariffin – Diphenylamine Test. Are all the questions going to be this easy?
Sharona: I think so. This is the official practice book.
Monk: Then I am in, baby. I already had my old uniform cleaned and pressed.
Sharona: Adrian, don’t you think that’s a little pre-mature?
Adrian: It’s not pre-mature, it’s perfectly mature. Sharona, I’m back.
Julie: Look who’s awake. Are you ready for your test?
Monk: A piece of cake.
Sharona: Mrs. Parlow, how are you feeling?
Grandma: Oh, don’t worry about me. I heard what happened to you in the library.
Monk: It just means we’re just getting close; somebody’s getting nervous, Mrs. Parlow. So now I want to try to find out exactly where they took you. Sharona, do you have that map?
Grandma: Alright, but I told the chief of police I couldn’t help him. I had an afghan over my head.
Monk: Maybe we will be able to figure it out anyway.
Sharona: We’re here. What are you doing?
Monk: Just smoothing it out. What else do you remember about the trip?
Grandma: Well, like I said, I didn’t see a thing.
Monk: Did you hear anything?
Grandma: No, I’m sorry.
Monk: Did you smell anything?
Grandma: You know, now that you mention it, I did. I smelled fresh bread.
Monk: Bread.
Julie: Oh my God, there’s a big bakery on Clarkson Boulevard. You can smell it when you drive past.
Grandma: And then we stopped for 4 or maybe 5 minutes.
Monk: Why so long?
Sharona: Were they getting gas?
Grandma: No.
Monk: It could have been a draw bridge.
Sharona: Oh my God! Third Street drawbridge across Channel.
Grandma: Then just a few minutes later, we got to their house and it was exactly 8:00.
Sharona: How do you know that?
Grandma: My watch was beeping. You see, I set it so that I don’t forget to take my ticker pills. And it was raining.
Sharona: Are you sure? It wasn’t raining all week.
Grandma: Listen, missy, I think I know what rain feels like and that’s what I felt when they carried me from the van into the house. And you know, that wasn’t all. Cough drops.
Julie: Cough drops?
Grandma: I distinctly smelled cough drops.
Monk: Eucalyptus trees. They smell like cough drops.
Monk: There’s the big bakery. Turn here. You got to turn. Turn here!
Sharona: Will you relax? I’m turning.
Monk: OK, there’s the drawbridge. Stop the car! The bridge is up.
Sharona: Do you want to drive?
Monk: No, you’re doing fine.
Sharona: This has to be the block. I can smell the eucalyptus from here. OK, which house?
Monk: We’ll know in a few seconds.
Sharona: What do you mean?
Monk: Mrs. Parlow said it was raining at exactly 8:00. But what she felt wasn’t rain. Automatic sprinkler system.
Sharona: That’s our house. Which one is it?
Monk: That one. They fed her pizza, remember?
Sharona: You’re going to be a pretty good cop. Now what?
Monk: Now, we take a picture of whoever comes out of the house. Mrs. Parlow said she recognized their voices. Maybe she knows who they are.
Sharona: How are we going to get their picture?
Monk: I don’t know! Why don’t you think of something. I did the sprinkler thing, it’s your turn.
Sharona: Oh, so now we’re taking turns?
Monk: Yes, now we’re taking turns.
Sharona: Since when?
Monk: It’s our new policy. Didn’t you get my memo?
Sharona: Stay here. I’ll send you a memo.
Monk: What did you say?
Sharona: Nothing.
Monk: I heard the word ‘memo.’
Sharona: Just stay here and study for your test. Get the camera ready!
Carol: Harold, what’s going on?
Harold: Nothing. Cars have a mind of their own. German engineering, my ass. I don’t see anything.
Grandma: Well, strike my pretty.
Monk: You do recognize them?
Grandma: Oh, yes, they were here just last week. Remember? They came about the cat.
Julie: Two weeks ago, Nana took in a stray cat. It didn’t have a collar; we didn’t know who it belong to.
Grandma: We were worried about you.
Julie: I ran off some fliers and put them up and the next day, this couple called us.
Monk: Harold and Carol Maloney. They own an antique store on Grandess Boulevard.
Sharona: It’s 5 blocks away.
Grandma: I knew there was something sneaky about them. Do you know where I should have stabbed them?
Sharona: Yeah, I think we do.
Julie: Their cat had run away a few days ago, so they came over, but it wasn’t theirs.
Monk: Is that it? They just looked at the cat?
Sharona: Did they say or do anything unusual?
Julie: No, they were here just a few minutes.
Grandma: We never saw them again.
Julie: Mr. Monk, I don’t understand. They’re antique dealers. What do they want with Nana? And what’s all this crap about turkey dinners?
Monk: I don’t know...yet.
Sharona: Why don’t we call the Captain?
Monk: Let’s wait until tomorrow. I should have more clout by then.
Grandma: What do you mean?
Monk: Well, thanks to your granddaughter, by this time tomorrow, I’ll be back on the force.
Proctor: Have a seat right here. You have 30 minutes to answer all 50 questions. Make sure you fill in the little circles completely so the computer can read them.
Monk: What if I finish early?
Proctor: You might want to check your work.
Monk: I don’t think that’ll be necessary.
Proctor: Are you ready? Go! Good luck. Yes?
Monk: Could you take one of these off the table?
Proctor: Why?
Monk: I can’t have two. I get confused.
Proctor: Which one?
Monk: This one. No, wait! You know what? That one. Wait. You better choose.
Proctor: Alright. OK?
Monk: Thanks. I’ll do the same for you sometime.
Proctor: You have a half hour.
Monk: No problem. No problem.
Proctor: Oh, you finished?
Monk: I need a new sheet.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Now, where is he?
Lt. Disher: He locked himself in.
Captain Stottlemeyer: In my office? I don’t think so. Hey, Monk, open the door. Let me guess. He didn’t pass the test.
Sharona: He didn’t quite finish.
Captain Stottlemeyer: How far did he get?
Sharona: He did one question.
Lt. Disher: Over and over and over.
Captain Stottlemeyer: What’s that?
Sharona: His pencil. Adrian, you can retake the test!
Monk: I’ll never pass.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Hey, Monk! Go find a key. Monk, listen to me. Listen, I think that you failed that test on purpose. You don’t want to get your badge back on a technicality, right? You want to earn it. You will. Adrian, you will. You’re going to be a great cop again. And you’re going to do it the right way. And I respect you for that. Now, open the door. Monk, open that damn door or I will give you until 3!
Monk: A.M. or P.M.?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Not three o’clock, you fool. One, two...What is that? Monk!
Lt. Disher: I think that’s your chair.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk! That’s my father’s chair. If you put one scratch on that chair, I’ll never forgive you. Monk, be careful with that chair! Move the chair, Monk! Monk, move the chair.
Sharona: You OK?
Monk: You said, “Be careful” because you love that chair.
Captain Stottlemeyer: That’s right.
Monk: The kidnappers said “Be careful,” when they carried Mrs. Parlow out of the house. They weren’t worried about her; they were worried about that chair.
Lt. Disher: What chair?
Monk: The chair she was tied to. That’s what this whole thing’s been about.
Julie: That’s my grandmother’s chair. I recognize it.
Harold: She’s lying. People make false claims about pieces like this all the time.
Sharona: You like opera?
Carol: Yes, we love it. Is that a crime?
Sharona: Should be.
Harold: Oh, Captain, please!
Captain Stottlemeyer: Tell me about the chair, Mr. Maloney.
Harold: I’d be happy to. It is a fanback Windsor, in original finish, built 1774. Dealers like us wait our whole lives for a piece like this.
Carol: You note the engraving on the back in the shape of Monticello.
Harold: This chair was personally handcrafted by Thomas Jefferson. In fact, there is some evidence to support the fact that he sat in this very chair while he drafted the Declaration of Independence.
Lt. Disher: Does it swivel?
Captain Stottlemeyer: How much is it worth?
Carol: 2, maybe 2.5.
Lt. Disher: Million?
Harold: Yes, Lieutenant, million. Actually, we’ll find out for sure next week. We’re auctioning it off. I don’t imagine any of you will be bidding on it.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Where did you get it?
Julie: I’ll tell you where they got it. They stole it from my grandmother’s house.
Monk: She’s right. Your cat ran away. You saw the flyer and you went to their house looking for it and that’s where you saw the chair. You must have recognized it right away, but what could you do? You couldn’t offer to buy it. They might have had it appraised and that would have ruined everything.
Sharona: You couldn’t steal it. Cops would have been looking for it. You’d never be able to sell it.
Monk: Then you had an idea. It was brilliant, really. You kidnapped Mrs. Parlow and carried her out of the house with the chair, make some ridiculous ransom demand and then let her go. You figured anyone would be so relieved to have their Nana back, that they wouldn’t even remember the missing chair.
Harold: Prepare to be disappointed, Mr. Monk. I can prove provenance. I have a receipt.
Carol: We bought the chair from a dealer in Baton Rouge four years ago. Poor sap, he didn’t know what he was sitting on.
Harold: Literally!
Julie: I bet it’s a forgery. Forgery is a serious offense. It is a Class C felony. Or B. B or C, but...
Harold: The receipt will have to speak for itself; unfortunately, the dealer has since passed on.
Sharona: How convenient.
Harold: So, can you prove that the chair belongs to you? No. Interesting. OK, well, until you can, I suggest you all leave. It’s my dinner time.
Sharona: Well, that could have gone better.
Julie: Can’t we do anything?
Captain Stottlemeyer: I cannot question them officially unless you’ve got something, anything to prove you own that chair.
Lt. Disher: Do you have anything on paper?
Julie: No, Nana bought it at a flea market 20 years ago. She can’t even remember where.
Sharona: Do you have a picture of it?
Julie: I checked all our photo albums. Nothing.
Monk: Wait a minute. Listen.
Lt. Disher: Listen to what?
Monk: Listen to you. You’re not sneezing. You haven’t sneezed at all since we got here.
Sharona: That’s true.
Monk: The Maloney’s said they had a cat that ran away. That’s why they went to Julie’s house.
Julie: Right.
Monk: They lied. They never had a cat. Otherwise you’d be sneezing your head off.
Lt. Disher: You’re right. He’s right.
Julie: I’m lost, as usual.
Captain Stottlemeyer: If the Maloney’s never had a cat, why did they go to your house in the first place?
Monk: They must have known about the chair somehow. Do you still have a copy of that flyer?
Julie: Uh, I think so.
Captain Stottlemeyer: That’s the prettiest picture I’ve ever seen. Hi, folks, remember us? I was wondering if we could bother you again? Thank you.
Sharona: Congratulations, you solved the case.
Lt. Disher: Well, I had a little help.
Julie: Hi, Nana? Guess what? I’m quitting law school! I’m buying my own bakery! Yes, we can afford it. We can afford anything we want. I love you, Nana!
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Episode 3 Season 1 – Mr. Selfridge Episode Summary 1.3
Synopsis: Mr. Selfridge plans to create a beauty department that will sell perfume and makeup over the counter. The absence of sales from the expensive perfumes prompts him to develop a more affordable house scent for Selfridges. Mr. Leclair, who is tasked to define the Selfridges perfume, enlists the help of Miss Towler. Meanwhile, Rose Selfridge learns of her husband’s procurement of a flat for his mistress causing her to seek the company of Roderick Temple.
Episode Summary: Harry Gordon Selfridge engages in an affair with Ellen Love. He learns that the woman whose real name is Joyce Humphries was eighteen when she first got her big break thanks to the leading lady falling ill. The two has not been discreet in their love affair given Miss Love’s frequent purchases from the fashion department at Selfridges, all of which are on Mr. Selfridge’s credit.Continue reading...
Mr. Selfridge relishes the success of his department store, but he has no notion of complacency and so moves on with another radical idea. He wants to move perfume out of the pharmacy into its own department. It is a concept English women find scandalous believing that perfume is a lady’s secret and is best kept hidden. Conversely, Mr. Selfridge would like the perfumes displayed at the front of the store to help disguise the malodorous scent of horse manure from the street. Moreover, he wants to sell beauty products alongside it, items Miss Mardle and Miss Bunting both find even more indecent despite their use of them. Mr. Selfridge has learned that Pond’s Cold Cream is a high selling product and yet no one buys it from Selfridges. He believes that its placement is the reason for the lack of sales. Beauty products are scattered all over the department store alongside disagreeable items such as bedpans. Henri Leclair agrees with Mr. Selfridge’s plan to put all beauty products in one department consequently introducing a completely new way of shopping for women. Mr. Crabb is in disagreement of the concept believing that only disreputable women would purchase lewd products such as rouge and lip salve; peddling makeup over the counter is a bold statement that could prove damaging to Selfridges’ reputation. Sensing the unease between his colleagues, Mr. Leclair proposes further exploring the concept before making a decision and recommends enlisting the help of his friend who works for an advertising company in America, Valerie Maurel. News from Miss Blenkinsop of the Miss Love’s request to see Mr. Selfridge adjourns their meeting. Miss Love is at the store struggling between purchasing a fox or a beaver fur coat. She has made quite a scene at the store with her song and dance that customers and sales clerks gather around to witness it. The performance drew applause from everyone and Mr. Selfridge agreeing to dance with her added to the people’s delight and curiosity. Lois Selfridge becomes witness to the spectacle and becomes the only one to disapprove of it. She is fully aware of her son’s penchant for women that she advises him to maintain a professional relationship with Miss Love.
Mr. Leclair anxiously awaits the arrival of Miss Maurel and his anticipation catches the eye of Kitty Hawkins and Doris Miller, who both immediately recognize her as the gorgeous man’s lover. Mr. Selfridge, who knows the woman as well, introduces her to his employees as an employee for the advertising agency, J. Walter Thompson. He apprises Miss Maurel of their dilemma of determining the consequence of selling makeup on beauty counters. She presents to them various beauty products ranging from acceptable to ignominious. Miss Mardle and Miss Bunting avert their eyes from Pastel Joue aware that stage actors and prostitutes mainly use the item Bourjois in Paris invented to give color to the cheeks. The women and Mr. Crabb even find lipstick risqué despite it gaining popularity with models, artists, and film stars in Paris. This is because colored lips are associated with prostitutes or suffragettes, but more so, by its suggestive purpose, which is the intentional provocation of males. Red lips are an indication of a woman’s arousal as blood courses through her body causing a change in the color of the lips. It is known to educe a physical and sexual reaction from men. Mr. Crabb feels strongly against displaying such products to their customers arguing that the English regards reputation highly and its loss is impossible to regain. Nonetheless, Mr. Selfridge appears set on creating the Selfridges Beauty Counters. Miss Mardle becomes alarmed not only with the store peddling shameful products, but also with it displacing the accessories department. Mr. Leclair, on the other hand, is thrilled with displaying the inner workings of the boudoir. He believes that woman want to make themselves beautiful for men, while men want to see how they do it. Harry is aware that Henri is spellbound with Valerie, but senses trouble between the two. He decides to distract his friend from his worries and brings him to the theater to see Miss Love’s performance.
The performance was more of a distraction for Harry than for Henri. Henri does not hide his aversion towards Ellen and derisively expresses his preference for opera where singers sound like goddesses. She returns the insult a disparagement of his profession. The three spend the rest of the evening at the club, but much to Ellen’s dismay Harry found the card table more enticing than her company. She finds an unlikely companion in Henri, who intimates that his dislike of her stems from his concern for his friend. Sensing Henri’s fondness of Harry, she begins to wonder whether Henri is a homosexual and learns that he is not. Moreover, the man has agreed to allow her to choose the poses for the photographs that were the cause of their dispute. Meanwhile, Harry plays against Tony Travers despite Frank Edwards’ advice against it noting that the boastful young man is not adept with poker and is playing with Lady Mae’s credit. True enough, Tony loses all his money to Harry. He arrives home very late in the evening unaware that his wife is conscious of his late arrival. She, however, is unaware that Harry did not sleep with Ellen that night. In fact, the woman is in the midst of drowning her sorrow with illegal drugs.
Boredom finds Rosalie Selfridge, who surprisingly found herself missing her younger sisters who are at school. Rose Selfridge proposes enrolling her to a finishing school, but Rosalie suggests doing the Season instead. Rose dissuades her daughter about it given that the Season is reserved for British aristocracy. Seeing Rosalie’s resolve to be part of the Season, Rose turns to Lady Mae, who is delighted that the woman has come to seek her help. She suggests holding a tea party for Rosalie believing that it will be a success given the popularity of their name, a credit to her now famous husband. Lady Mae, however, insinuates Mr. Selfridge’s turn to infamy with his extramarital affair. Lady Mae learns that Rose is aware of her husband’s philandering and that she has become used to it enough to know that ignoring them is the best recourse. Nonetheless, Lady Mae warns her of Mr. Selfridge’s latest fling noting Miss Love’s ambition as a cause for concern. Rose argues that a chorus girl such as Miss Love is inconsequential to her, but learns that Lady Mae was herself a chorus girl, one of the original Edward’s Company Gaiety girls. This note along with news of Harry providing a flat for Miss Love alarmed Rose. Her anger prompts her to go against her better judgment as she pays a visit to Roderick Temple’s studio. Moreover, she asks him to paint her portrait. She begins to regret her decision when she returns home and learns that Lady Mae already informed Rosalie of the wonderful news of her becoming part of the Season. Nevertheless, she continues to see Roddy and he begins to work on her portrait. Meanwhile, Lady Mae learns that Tony lost a considerable amount of her money playing cards against Harry Selfridge. She wastes no time to speak to Mr. Selfridge about the matter. Mr. Selfridge is reluctant to dissolve the large gambling debt Tony owes him leaving Lady Mae to enumerate the numerous favors she gave him including her assistance in presenting his eldest daughter into society. The matter regarding Rosalie is news to Mr. Selfridge for he has been too engaged with Miss Love. Having been reminded of his debt of gratitude to Lady Mae, Mr. Selfridge finds himself beholden to her and she takes advantage with another favor to ask. Lady Mae asks him to endorse the cause of suffrage women by selling their goods and reserving a table at the Palm Court for them every Tuesday at lunchtime. This is not much of a favor to ask of Mr. Selfridge for he is in support of Suffragettes. Mr. Selfridge immediately instructs Mr. Colleano to reserve a large table for the London branch of the movement. The waiter instantly catches the interest of Lady Mae, who has grown tired of her lover, Tony Travers.
Agnes Towler arrives home to find her father there instead of at work. Reg Towler has lost his job and has returned to drinking. Agnes, although disappointed, does not deride his drunken father and even helps him undress. Nonetheless, the man slaps Agnes with great force when she contradicted his assertion of not always being a drunkard. His heavy hand left a bruise on her face and caused her to be absent from work for several days. A concerned Victor Colleano arrives at her doorstep with a box of pastries he baked for her and finds her behavior evasive. She refuses to join him on his way to work. Agnes arrives at Selfridges to find it changed as perfumes took the place of the glove counter. Mr. Leclair asks her opinion of the display and receives valuable feedback from her. Miss Towler explains that a woman like her would not dare touch the precious not to mention expensive bottles of perfume. Mr. Leclair, however, seems to be captivated by her so much so that he leans to smell her scent of Yardley Lavender. Doris interrupts their conversation as she apprises her of the fabulous hats that have just arrived. Their focus, however, moves to the bruise on her face that Kitty was bold enough to point out. Embarrassed with the revelation of the bruise she tried so hard to hide with makeup, Miss Towler feigns having fainted and hitting her cheek on the bath. Customers arrive and gather around the shop girl highlighting the perfume. To Mr. Selfridge’s consternation, the customers are not purchasing. Mr. Leclair notes that perfumes are expensive leading Miss Maurel to suggest developing Mr. Selfridge’s own label, one made through chemical synthesis that will allow him to sell the fragrance at an affordable price. Mr. Selfridge approves of Miss Maurel’s recommendation and becomes thrilled with the idea of Selfridges having its house scent. He sees Ellen a fitting endorser of the perfume he plans to call “The Spirit of Selfridges”. Miss Maurel’s suggestion and her connection with a factory in London that can produce the perfume prompt Mr. Selfridge to offer her a job at his company. Miss Maurel, however, turns it down for her love of New York triumphs over a job offer elsewhere that even Henri’s love for her cannot make her stay. With Harry’s prodding, Henri goes after Valerie to convince her to stay, but she leaves anyway. Miss Towler holed up in storage becomes witness to Valerie’s parting kiss with Henri. Mr. Leclair later finds her there twirling and wearing one of the new hats yet to be displayed. He has come to seek her help in defining what the Selfridges house scent should be, because Mr. Leclair believes that the perfume should appeal to women such as Miss Towler. Meanwhile, Mr. Selfridge asks Miss Love to endorse the Selfridges perfume. Miss Love is exhilarated with the proposition believing that it brings her to the level of the French opera singer, Calve, known only to wear Guerlain. She later rejects the offer after learning that the Selfridges perfume will be produced inexpensively and will be sold at affordable prices unlike the grand French fragrances. Mr. Selfridge inveigles Miss Love into agreement with a promise of a window display reserved for the Selfridges perfume and its endorser.
Agnes’ evasiveness concerns Victor that the waiter speaks to George Towler about it. He learns that Agnes has been assigned a special task with the Art Department under the supervision of Mr. Leclair whom Agnes could not stop talking about. Given Mr. Leclair’s vision of a simple, fresh, and natural fragrance for the Selfridges perfume, Miss Towler picks Lily of the Valley as the inspiration for the house scent. She remembers picking them in the countryside with her mother who loved the flower, and Mr. Leclair finds it a suitable choice. He notes that those flowers are sold in the streets of France on the first day of May and are what young lovers give each other. Miss Towler dares to ask Mr. Leclair about Miss Laurel and learns that he has known the woman since they were children. Moreover, Mr. Leclair had asked Miss Maurel to marry him, a proposal she rejected. Mr. Leclair postpones presenting the designs to Mr. Selfridge and gives Miss Love complete freedom in posing for the photographs. Miss Love holds the bottle of perfume seductively as she poses for the camera. Together they present the suggestive photographs to Mr. Selfridge with Mr. Leclair noting them as Miss Love’s vision. Mr. Selfridge finds the photographs appalling and rejects them all much to Miss Love’s consternation. Moreover, he cancels his lunch with her and foregoes seeing her show. He admonishes Mr. Leclair for his guile, but forgives him as he presents the Lily of the Valley designs he and Miss Towler had conceived. Mr. Selfridge approves of the design and the message of childhood, springtime, and love it conveys. Before long, the Lily of the Valley makes its debut on the window of Selfridges with “Unforgettable” as its strap line. Miss Towler admires the window display she helped create. In fact, Mr. Leclair tells her that the window she admires is hers. Mr. Selfridge succeeds once again in his endeavor as sales of Lily of the Valley continue to grow pleasing everyone including Mr. Crabb. The man has another cause to rejoice as his employer abandons his plan of putting makeup on display, but his joy comes from hearing Mr. Selfridge’s plan of coming home to his wife. Mr. Selfridge, however, is up for disappointment because his wife is at Roddy Temple’s studio.
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Episode Summary: Harry Gordon Selfridge engages in an affair with Ellen Love. He learns that the woman whose real name is Joyce Humphries was eighteen when she first got her big break thanks to the leading lady falling ill. The two has not been discreet in their love affair given Miss Love’s frequent purchases from the fashion department at Selfridges, all of which are on Mr. Selfridge’s credit.Continue reading...
Mr. Selfridge relishes the success of his department store, but he has no notion of complacency and so moves on with another radical idea. He wants to move perfume out of the pharmacy into its own department. It is a concept English women find scandalous believing that perfume is a lady’s secret and is best kept hidden. Conversely, Mr. Selfridge would like the perfumes displayed at the front of the store to help disguise the malodorous scent of horse manure from the street. Moreover, he wants to sell beauty products alongside it, items Miss Mardle and Miss Bunting both find even more indecent despite their use of them. Mr. Selfridge has learned that Pond’s Cold Cream is a high selling product and yet no one buys it from Selfridges. He believes that its placement is the reason for the lack of sales. Beauty products are scattered all over the department store alongside disagreeable items such as bedpans. Henri Leclair agrees with Mr. Selfridge’s plan to put all beauty products in one department consequently introducing a completely new way of shopping for women. Mr. Crabb is in disagreement of the concept believing that only disreputable women would purchase lewd products such as rouge and lip salve; peddling makeup over the counter is a bold statement that could prove damaging to Selfridges’ reputation. Sensing the unease between his colleagues, Mr. Leclair proposes further exploring the concept before making a decision and recommends enlisting the help of his friend who works for an advertising company in America, Valerie Maurel. News from Miss Blenkinsop of the Miss Love’s request to see Mr. Selfridge adjourns their meeting. Miss Love is at the store struggling between purchasing a fox or a beaver fur coat. She has made quite a scene at the store with her song and dance that customers and sales clerks gather around to witness it. The performance drew applause from everyone and Mr. Selfridge agreeing to dance with her added to the people’s delight and curiosity. Lois Selfridge becomes witness to the spectacle and becomes the only one to disapprove of it. She is fully aware of her son’s penchant for women that she advises him to maintain a professional relationship with Miss Love.
Mr. Leclair anxiously awaits the arrival of Miss Maurel and his anticipation catches the eye of Kitty Hawkins and Doris Miller, who both immediately recognize her as the gorgeous man’s lover. Mr. Selfridge, who knows the woman as well, introduces her to his employees as an employee for the advertising agency, J. Walter Thompson. He apprises Miss Maurel of their dilemma of determining the consequence of selling makeup on beauty counters. She presents to them various beauty products ranging from acceptable to ignominious. Miss Mardle and Miss Bunting avert their eyes from Pastel Joue aware that stage actors and prostitutes mainly use the item Bourjois in Paris invented to give color to the cheeks. The women and Mr. Crabb even find lipstick risqué despite it gaining popularity with models, artists, and film stars in Paris. This is because colored lips are associated with prostitutes or suffragettes, but more so, by its suggestive purpose, which is the intentional provocation of males. Red lips are an indication of a woman’s arousal as blood courses through her body causing a change in the color of the lips. It is known to educe a physical and sexual reaction from men. Mr. Crabb feels strongly against displaying such products to their customers arguing that the English regards reputation highly and its loss is impossible to regain. Nonetheless, Mr. Selfridge appears set on creating the Selfridges Beauty Counters. Miss Mardle becomes alarmed not only with the store peddling shameful products, but also with it displacing the accessories department. Mr. Leclair, on the other hand, is thrilled with displaying the inner workings of the boudoir. He believes that woman want to make themselves beautiful for men, while men want to see how they do it. Harry is aware that Henri is spellbound with Valerie, but senses trouble between the two. He decides to distract his friend from his worries and brings him to the theater to see Miss Love’s performance.
The performance was more of a distraction for Harry than for Henri. Henri does not hide his aversion towards Ellen and derisively expresses his preference for opera where singers sound like goddesses. She returns the insult a disparagement of his profession. The three spend the rest of the evening at the club, but much to Ellen’s dismay Harry found the card table more enticing than her company. She finds an unlikely companion in Henri, who intimates that his dislike of her stems from his concern for his friend. Sensing Henri’s fondness of Harry, she begins to wonder whether Henri is a homosexual and learns that he is not. Moreover, the man has agreed to allow her to choose the poses for the photographs that were the cause of their dispute. Meanwhile, Harry plays against Tony Travers despite Frank Edwards’ advice against it noting that the boastful young man is not adept with poker and is playing with Lady Mae’s credit. True enough, Tony loses all his money to Harry. He arrives home very late in the evening unaware that his wife is conscious of his late arrival. She, however, is unaware that Harry did not sleep with Ellen that night. In fact, the woman is in the midst of drowning her sorrow with illegal drugs.
Boredom finds Rosalie Selfridge, who surprisingly found herself missing her younger sisters who are at school. Rose Selfridge proposes enrolling her to a finishing school, but Rosalie suggests doing the Season instead. Rose dissuades her daughter about it given that the Season is reserved for British aristocracy. Seeing Rosalie’s resolve to be part of the Season, Rose turns to Lady Mae, who is delighted that the woman has come to seek her help. She suggests holding a tea party for Rosalie believing that it will be a success given the popularity of their name, a credit to her now famous husband. Lady Mae, however, insinuates Mr. Selfridge’s turn to infamy with his extramarital affair. Lady Mae learns that Rose is aware of her husband’s philandering and that she has become used to it enough to know that ignoring them is the best recourse. Nonetheless, Lady Mae warns her of Mr. Selfridge’s latest fling noting Miss Love’s ambition as a cause for concern. Rose argues that a chorus girl such as Miss Love is inconsequential to her, but learns that Lady Mae was herself a chorus girl, one of the original Edward’s Company Gaiety girls. This note along with news of Harry providing a flat for Miss Love alarmed Rose. Her anger prompts her to go against her better judgment as she pays a visit to Roderick Temple’s studio. Moreover, she asks him to paint her portrait. She begins to regret her decision when she returns home and learns that Lady Mae already informed Rosalie of the wonderful news of her becoming part of the Season. Nevertheless, she continues to see Roddy and he begins to work on her portrait. Meanwhile, Lady Mae learns that Tony lost a considerable amount of her money playing cards against Harry Selfridge. She wastes no time to speak to Mr. Selfridge about the matter. Mr. Selfridge is reluctant to dissolve the large gambling debt Tony owes him leaving Lady Mae to enumerate the numerous favors she gave him including her assistance in presenting his eldest daughter into society. The matter regarding Rosalie is news to Mr. Selfridge for he has been too engaged with Miss Love. Having been reminded of his debt of gratitude to Lady Mae, Mr. Selfridge finds himself beholden to her and she takes advantage with another favor to ask. Lady Mae asks him to endorse the cause of suffrage women by selling their goods and reserving a table at the Palm Court for them every Tuesday at lunchtime. This is not much of a favor to ask of Mr. Selfridge for he is in support of Suffragettes. Mr. Selfridge immediately instructs Mr. Colleano to reserve a large table for the London branch of the movement. The waiter instantly catches the interest of Lady Mae, who has grown tired of her lover, Tony Travers.
Agnes Towler arrives home to find her father there instead of at work. Reg Towler has lost his job and has returned to drinking. Agnes, although disappointed, does not deride his drunken father and even helps him undress. Nonetheless, the man slaps Agnes with great force when she contradicted his assertion of not always being a drunkard. His heavy hand left a bruise on her face and caused her to be absent from work for several days. A concerned Victor Colleano arrives at her doorstep with a box of pastries he baked for her and finds her behavior evasive. She refuses to join him on his way to work. Agnes arrives at Selfridges to find it changed as perfumes took the place of the glove counter. Mr. Leclair asks her opinion of the display and receives valuable feedback from her. Miss Towler explains that a woman like her would not dare touch the precious not to mention expensive bottles of perfume. Mr. Leclair, however, seems to be captivated by her so much so that he leans to smell her scent of Yardley Lavender. Doris interrupts their conversation as she apprises her of the fabulous hats that have just arrived. Their focus, however, moves to the bruise on her face that Kitty was bold enough to point out. Embarrassed with the revelation of the bruise she tried so hard to hide with makeup, Miss Towler feigns having fainted and hitting her cheek on the bath. Customers arrive and gather around the shop girl highlighting the perfume. To Mr. Selfridge’s consternation, the customers are not purchasing. Mr. Leclair notes that perfumes are expensive leading Miss Maurel to suggest developing Mr. Selfridge’s own label, one made through chemical synthesis that will allow him to sell the fragrance at an affordable price. Mr. Selfridge approves of Miss Maurel’s recommendation and becomes thrilled with the idea of Selfridges having its house scent. He sees Ellen a fitting endorser of the perfume he plans to call “The Spirit of Selfridges”. Miss Maurel’s suggestion and her connection with a factory in London that can produce the perfume prompt Mr. Selfridge to offer her a job at his company. Miss Maurel, however, turns it down for her love of New York triumphs over a job offer elsewhere that even Henri’s love for her cannot make her stay. With Harry’s prodding, Henri goes after Valerie to convince her to stay, but she leaves anyway. Miss Towler holed up in storage becomes witness to Valerie’s parting kiss with Henri. Mr. Leclair later finds her there twirling and wearing one of the new hats yet to be displayed. He has come to seek her help in defining what the Selfridges house scent should be, because Mr. Leclair believes that the perfume should appeal to women such as Miss Towler. Meanwhile, Mr. Selfridge asks Miss Love to endorse the Selfridges perfume. Miss Love is exhilarated with the proposition believing that it brings her to the level of the French opera singer, Calve, known only to wear Guerlain. She later rejects the offer after learning that the Selfridges perfume will be produced inexpensively and will be sold at affordable prices unlike the grand French fragrances. Mr. Selfridge inveigles Miss Love into agreement with a promise of a window display reserved for the Selfridges perfume and its endorser.
Agnes’ evasiveness concerns Victor that the waiter speaks to George Towler about it. He learns that Agnes has been assigned a special task with the Art Department under the supervision of Mr. Leclair whom Agnes could not stop talking about. Given Mr. Leclair’s vision of a simple, fresh, and natural fragrance for the Selfridges perfume, Miss Towler picks Lily of the Valley as the inspiration for the house scent. She remembers picking them in the countryside with her mother who loved the flower, and Mr. Leclair finds it a suitable choice. He notes that those flowers are sold in the streets of France on the first day of May and are what young lovers give each other. Miss Towler dares to ask Mr. Leclair about Miss Laurel and learns that he has known the woman since they were children. Moreover, Mr. Leclair had asked Miss Maurel to marry him, a proposal she rejected. Mr. Leclair postpones presenting the designs to Mr. Selfridge and gives Miss Love complete freedom in posing for the photographs. Miss Love holds the bottle of perfume seductively as she poses for the camera. Together they present the suggestive photographs to Mr. Selfridge with Mr. Leclair noting them as Miss Love’s vision. Mr. Selfridge finds the photographs appalling and rejects them all much to Miss Love’s consternation. Moreover, he cancels his lunch with her and foregoes seeing her show. He admonishes Mr. Leclair for his guile, but forgives him as he presents the Lily of the Valley designs he and Miss Towler had conceived. Mr. Selfridge approves of the design and the message of childhood, springtime, and love it conveys. Before long, the Lily of the Valley makes its debut on the window of Selfridges with “Unforgettable” as its strap line. Miss Towler admires the window display she helped create. In fact, Mr. Leclair tells her that the window she admires is hers. Mr. Selfridge succeeds once again in his endeavor as sales of Lily of the Valley continue to grow pleasing everyone including Mr. Crabb. The man has another cause to rejoice as his employer abandons his plan of putting makeup on display, but his joy comes from hearing Mr. Selfridge’s plan of coming home to his wife. Mr. Selfridge, however, is up for disappointment because his wife is at Roddy Temple’s studio.
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Sunday, 15 June 2014
Chapter 5 Season 1 – House of Cards Episode Summary 1.5
Episode Summary: Marty Spinella threatens to hold a teachers’ strike after learning of Francis Underwood’s betrayal with the inclusion of the collective bargaining amendment in the Education Reform and Achievement Act. Hearing of Francis’ hand in the withdrawal of support from the NEA, Marty goes after Claire Underwood’s fundraiser event. Meanwhile, Zoe Barnes receives numerous job offers from media companies, but upon Francis’ direction ends up accepting a job at the political news magazine, Slugline.
House of Cards Chapter 5 Recap: News of Zoe Barnes resignation from The Washington Herald reaches media companies such as CBS and MSNBC with job offers for her to become a news correspondent. Francis Underwood advises that she remain as a print journalist and becomes interested in the budding political news magazine that is the rival of Politico, Slugline. Zoe apprises Frank of the merits of Slugline particularly the progressive work environment she believes will afford her the freedom and exposure The Washington Herald failed to provide. Francis arrives home from his tryst with the young journalist and deliberates it with his wife as though they were discussing a recent purchase of a car. He informs his wife of the benefits of having a journalist to serve as their mouthpiece as needed and declares his control over his pawn removing any doubt about the young woman’s manageability.Continue reading...
Tom Hammerschmidt finds himself in a meeting with Margaret Tilden and The Herald’s legal team to confirm Zoe Barnes’ claim of his use of a derogatory term against her. Mrs. Tilden speaks with him privately to discuss the incident that led to his predicament. She is more concerned at Tom’s decision of allowing Zoe to leave The Herald than his behavior towards her. Tom argues that he is unable to work with a journalist he cannot control, but Mrs. Tilden disagrees. Moreover, she clarifies the need to pander to an employee’s desires especially to one that can offer something he cannot provide. Contrary to Tom’s beliefs, Mrs. Tilden finds Zoe an asset to the failing newspaper. She was relying on the young journalist’s sudden rise to fame to counter The Herald’s financial losses. Tom, however, continues to believe that enriched media including Zoe Barnes are just fads that will not sustain The Herald. Mrs. Tilden is disappointed of Tom’s principles and she hands him the prepared resignation letter for him to sign. Although surprised with Mrs. Tilden’s disappointment, Tom accedes to his forced resignation. Meanwhile, Zoe meets with the editor of Slugline, a woman who also finds that the controversial journalist will be an asset to the news outfit. She, however, is unwilling to woo the young journalist despite her knowledge of the numerous job offers Zoe received. She instead allows Zoe to spend time at the news magazine’s office believing that immersion with Slugline’s work environment should help the young woman with her decision. Her strategy worked and Zoe finds herself writing an article on the floor instead of a cubicle. Moreover, she learns that the editor finds no reason to review articles before publishing favoring speed over quality. They both, however, agree that Zoe can do much better than the midterm predictions she was about to post.
A livid Marty Spinella, head lobbyist for the teachers union, meets with Frank after learning of the collective bargaining amendment that The Whip deceitfully included in the education bill. Frank maintains that the amendment was only included as leverage, but Marty is cognizant of its real purpose and will never allow a threat to cut federal funding from union school districts be part of the bill. Frank asserts that the amendment will not be staying in the bill, but only if the teachers union agrees to the performance standards. This statement, however, only incensed the head lobbyist who comes to a realization of Frank’s betrayal. Frank never intended to remove the performance standards from the bill despite his agreement of its exclusion during the negotiations. Marty Spinella leaves Francis Underwood’s office determined to begin a war against the house representative. Francis becomes alarmed at his failure to reason with Marty. He speaks to Doug Stamper in order to discuss their options only to learn of another pressing matter. Speaker of the House, Bob Birch, decided to hold the DNC leadership meeting at Francis’ office instead of the DNC headquarters due to the green-energy renovations that makes it currently unusable. Francis and Doug find themselves in a meeting with fellow Democrats listening to Patricia Whittaker, the highly competent DNC chair, talk about the party’s priorities for the special election in November. Patricia apprises their colleagues of the need to win Ohio, Florida, and Pennsylvania to ensure President Garrett Walker’s reelection. Haven taken the Governor of Pennsylvania as his running mate to help win the election, the party is now in need of a replacement for the beloved Pennsylvania Governor, Jim Matthews. Patricia emphasizes the importance of electing another Democrat to replace Matthews with a note that the new Governor will oversee redistricting that can consequently lead to the loss of seats and ultimately the Democrats’ majority in Washington. They are in need of a fresh face that can compete with the former mayor of Pittsburg, Jack Swofford, who has gained the support of the RNC for his statewide name recognition and campaign machinery. The committee goes over the list of congressional representatives for potential candidates, one that included the name of Peter Russo. Patricia, however, immediately removes him from consideration for his lack of experience and expertise. Despite this, Francis discusses with Doug the idea of making Peter the new Governor of Pennsylvania. Doug is in disagreement with Francis’s proposal until he brings up the notion of controlling the race and involving the Vice President of the United States in it.
Peter Russo arrives at his office and finds Christina Gallagher settling the work she is about to leave behind. The reliable assistant and former girlfriend has also already briefed the person who is to take over her responsibilities, while Peter finds her replacement. Sensing the finality of Christina’s decision, Peter has nothing else to say, but gratitude. He later meets with his friend and senior official of the Shipbuilder’s Association, Paul Capra. The man has come to speak to him about his decision not to testify in the BRAC hearing that led to the closing of the shipyard, but gains nothing but a realization of Peter’s betrayal after learning that the loss of 12,000 jobs was the result of politics. Soon, calls about the closing of the shipyard flood Peter Russo’s office. He leaves his office dispirited only to return later that night intoxicated. He reads the contemptuous messages and stumbles upon one that sought help instead of assigning blame. He begins to write a reply, but fails to complete it unable to provide a suitable reason for the closing of the shipyard.
Having spent the day at the DNC leadership meeting, Doug and Francis discuss the threat of a teachers’ strike at his house during the wee hours of the night. Francis proposes negotiating with the NEA with a promise of protection in exchange for their cooperation. Claire Underwood is hard at work too preparing for the gala she hopes will match the funds SanCorp offered, but she declined as per her husband’s request. However, as it stands, the donations from the gala are nowhere near the $1.5 million dollars SanCorp offered. She is disappointed at agreeing to Francis’ demands and trusting him to round up the people needed to raise $1.5 million dollars. She once again turns to Adam Galloway for comfort, but the man chooses to ignore her call. Meanwhile, the call Francis made to Chuck Sloan of the NEA paid off. Marty is aghast with the news of NEA’s withdrawal from the teachers’ strike and is outraged at learning that Frank Underwood influenced NEA’s decision. He fights back by going after Claire’s gala. Marty uses his connections to force Hotel Cotesworth to refuse to hold CWI’s gala. Francis personally speaks with the hotel manager about the issue and learns that Hotel Cotesworth is afraid to have three hundred disgruntled guests when its unionized employees decide to go on strike. Hotel Cotesworth upholds its decision in spite of Congressman Underwood’s threats of loss of business for its choice to cancel an event that will have 41 members of the United States Congress in attendance. With no other venue available and the repercussions of confusing guests with a last minute change in venue, Claire decides to hold the gala picnic style in front of the hotel replacing the string quartet with a DJ and hotel food with Freddy’s barbeque. Husband and wife bring together all their work force to make the benefit for Claire’s charity a success despite the circumstances. The manager of Hotel Cotesworth learns of the resolution that resulted in their guests having to walk around the hotel to gain entry. He threatens to call the police only to learn that the police commissioner will be at the gala. He apprises Marty Spinella of the situation prompting the union lobbyist to send two hundred teachers at the Cotesworth Hotel. The teachers union protest amidst the gala for Clean Water Initiative quickly made the news, but the chants from the picket line could not deter the guests enjoying an open bar and dance music. Determined to please his wife, Francis personally serves alcohol to the Holburns and candidly asks for donation for his service. However, his efforts are of no match to Adam Galloway’s charms. The photographer has decided to attend the gala after hearing Claire’s voicemail the previous night. Claire tasks him to meet potential buyers of the photographs he donated in order to help increase their bids at the auction; his photographs managed to raise eighty thousand dollars, twenty thousand dollars more than what Francis coaxed from the Holburns. Zoe, wearing the same dress she wore at the symphony that first caught Frank’s attention, attends the gala at his invitation. Her invitation comes with strings; the only reporter invited to the gala, Zoe is to feed Frank information overheard from their guests, Washington’s elite.
Out in the street, Marty Spinella speaks to reporters about the protest against the Education Reform and Achievement Act informing them that his decision to hold the protest at the CWI gala was due to his knowledge that members of the Congress are at the event. Moreover, he criticizes the Congress at the gala for their generosity towards foreigners while neglecting the teachers of their country. His statement, however, backfires as one reporter notes that the charitable donations are private money. Moreover, one of the reporters becomes incredulous of the protesters sensing that not all of them are teachers. In fact, Frank Underwood recognized them as members of the Teamsters and not the teachers union. He and his wife along with their guests offer trays of food to the protesters. Much to Marty’s consternation, the protesters accept the food and cheer with their mouths full as they receive a keg of beer from their supposed enemies. The failed protest resulted in the labor union lobbyist’s decision to hold a strike at midnight of the following day. Meanwhile, the Underwoods relishes the evening’s success with the gainful fundraiser and the defeat of the protest. They arrive home to find a dejected Peter Russo at their doorstep. The Underwoods receive him showing hospitality, but Peter knows that their warmth is only skin-deep. Peter breaks down in defeat for acquiescing to the closing of the shipyard and for taking the blame for it. Frank is disgusted of the man’s helplessness that he continues to display as he complies with his order for him to get in the bathtub and take the aspirin. He speaks to Peter of standing up for him at the DNC Leadership meeting where he proposed to keep him in contention for the Governor’s race in Pennsylvania, a proposal Frank now regrets. Frank offers him a razor blade leaving Peter with the decision to take the coward’s way out and commit suicide. Peter is too weak to take his own life that he shows up the next morning without a scratch and with hopes of becoming Pennsylvania’s next Governor. Frank agrees to help him if Peter can manage to stay sober in one month’s time.
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House of Cards Chapter 5 Recap: News of Zoe Barnes resignation from The Washington Herald reaches media companies such as CBS and MSNBC with job offers for her to become a news correspondent. Francis Underwood advises that she remain as a print journalist and becomes interested in the budding political news magazine that is the rival of Politico, Slugline. Zoe apprises Frank of the merits of Slugline particularly the progressive work environment she believes will afford her the freedom and exposure The Washington Herald failed to provide. Francis arrives home from his tryst with the young journalist and deliberates it with his wife as though they were discussing a recent purchase of a car. He informs his wife of the benefits of having a journalist to serve as their mouthpiece as needed and declares his control over his pawn removing any doubt about the young woman’s manageability.Continue reading...
Tom Hammerschmidt finds himself in a meeting with Margaret Tilden and The Herald’s legal team to confirm Zoe Barnes’ claim of his use of a derogatory term against her. Mrs. Tilden speaks with him privately to discuss the incident that led to his predicament. She is more concerned at Tom’s decision of allowing Zoe to leave The Herald than his behavior towards her. Tom argues that he is unable to work with a journalist he cannot control, but Mrs. Tilden disagrees. Moreover, she clarifies the need to pander to an employee’s desires especially to one that can offer something he cannot provide. Contrary to Tom’s beliefs, Mrs. Tilden finds Zoe an asset to the failing newspaper. She was relying on the young journalist’s sudden rise to fame to counter The Herald’s financial losses. Tom, however, continues to believe that enriched media including Zoe Barnes are just fads that will not sustain The Herald. Mrs. Tilden is disappointed of Tom’s principles and she hands him the prepared resignation letter for him to sign. Although surprised with Mrs. Tilden’s disappointment, Tom accedes to his forced resignation. Meanwhile, Zoe meets with the editor of Slugline, a woman who also finds that the controversial journalist will be an asset to the news outfit. She, however, is unwilling to woo the young journalist despite her knowledge of the numerous job offers Zoe received. She instead allows Zoe to spend time at the news magazine’s office believing that immersion with Slugline’s work environment should help the young woman with her decision. Her strategy worked and Zoe finds herself writing an article on the floor instead of a cubicle. Moreover, she learns that the editor finds no reason to review articles before publishing favoring speed over quality. They both, however, agree that Zoe can do much better than the midterm predictions she was about to post.
A livid Marty Spinella, head lobbyist for the teachers union, meets with Frank after learning of the collective bargaining amendment that The Whip deceitfully included in the education bill. Frank maintains that the amendment was only included as leverage, but Marty is cognizant of its real purpose and will never allow a threat to cut federal funding from union school districts be part of the bill. Frank asserts that the amendment will not be staying in the bill, but only if the teachers union agrees to the performance standards. This statement, however, only incensed the head lobbyist who comes to a realization of Frank’s betrayal. Frank never intended to remove the performance standards from the bill despite his agreement of its exclusion during the negotiations. Marty Spinella leaves Francis Underwood’s office determined to begin a war against the house representative. Francis becomes alarmed at his failure to reason with Marty. He speaks to Doug Stamper in order to discuss their options only to learn of another pressing matter. Speaker of the House, Bob Birch, decided to hold the DNC leadership meeting at Francis’ office instead of the DNC headquarters due to the green-energy renovations that makes it currently unusable. Francis and Doug find themselves in a meeting with fellow Democrats listening to Patricia Whittaker, the highly competent DNC chair, talk about the party’s priorities for the special election in November. Patricia apprises their colleagues of the need to win Ohio, Florida, and Pennsylvania to ensure President Garrett Walker’s reelection. Haven taken the Governor of Pennsylvania as his running mate to help win the election, the party is now in need of a replacement for the beloved Pennsylvania Governor, Jim Matthews. Patricia emphasizes the importance of electing another Democrat to replace Matthews with a note that the new Governor will oversee redistricting that can consequently lead to the loss of seats and ultimately the Democrats’ majority in Washington. They are in need of a fresh face that can compete with the former mayor of Pittsburg, Jack Swofford, who has gained the support of the RNC for his statewide name recognition and campaign machinery. The committee goes over the list of congressional representatives for potential candidates, one that included the name of Peter Russo. Patricia, however, immediately removes him from consideration for his lack of experience and expertise. Despite this, Francis discusses with Doug the idea of making Peter the new Governor of Pennsylvania. Doug is in disagreement with Francis’s proposal until he brings up the notion of controlling the race and involving the Vice President of the United States in it.
Peter Russo arrives at his office and finds Christina Gallagher settling the work she is about to leave behind. The reliable assistant and former girlfriend has also already briefed the person who is to take over her responsibilities, while Peter finds her replacement. Sensing the finality of Christina’s decision, Peter has nothing else to say, but gratitude. He later meets with his friend and senior official of the Shipbuilder’s Association, Paul Capra. The man has come to speak to him about his decision not to testify in the BRAC hearing that led to the closing of the shipyard, but gains nothing but a realization of Peter’s betrayal after learning that the loss of 12,000 jobs was the result of politics. Soon, calls about the closing of the shipyard flood Peter Russo’s office. He leaves his office dispirited only to return later that night intoxicated. He reads the contemptuous messages and stumbles upon one that sought help instead of assigning blame. He begins to write a reply, but fails to complete it unable to provide a suitable reason for the closing of the shipyard.
Having spent the day at the DNC leadership meeting, Doug and Francis discuss the threat of a teachers’ strike at his house during the wee hours of the night. Francis proposes negotiating with the NEA with a promise of protection in exchange for their cooperation. Claire Underwood is hard at work too preparing for the gala she hopes will match the funds SanCorp offered, but she declined as per her husband’s request. However, as it stands, the donations from the gala are nowhere near the $1.5 million dollars SanCorp offered. She is disappointed at agreeing to Francis’ demands and trusting him to round up the people needed to raise $1.5 million dollars. She once again turns to Adam Galloway for comfort, but the man chooses to ignore her call. Meanwhile, the call Francis made to Chuck Sloan of the NEA paid off. Marty is aghast with the news of NEA’s withdrawal from the teachers’ strike and is outraged at learning that Frank Underwood influenced NEA’s decision. He fights back by going after Claire’s gala. Marty uses his connections to force Hotel Cotesworth to refuse to hold CWI’s gala. Francis personally speaks with the hotel manager about the issue and learns that Hotel Cotesworth is afraid to have three hundred disgruntled guests when its unionized employees decide to go on strike. Hotel Cotesworth upholds its decision in spite of Congressman Underwood’s threats of loss of business for its choice to cancel an event that will have 41 members of the United States Congress in attendance. With no other venue available and the repercussions of confusing guests with a last minute change in venue, Claire decides to hold the gala picnic style in front of the hotel replacing the string quartet with a DJ and hotel food with Freddy’s barbeque. Husband and wife bring together all their work force to make the benefit for Claire’s charity a success despite the circumstances. The manager of Hotel Cotesworth learns of the resolution that resulted in their guests having to walk around the hotel to gain entry. He threatens to call the police only to learn that the police commissioner will be at the gala. He apprises Marty Spinella of the situation prompting the union lobbyist to send two hundred teachers at the Cotesworth Hotel. The teachers union protest amidst the gala for Clean Water Initiative quickly made the news, but the chants from the picket line could not deter the guests enjoying an open bar and dance music. Determined to please his wife, Francis personally serves alcohol to the Holburns and candidly asks for donation for his service. However, his efforts are of no match to Adam Galloway’s charms. The photographer has decided to attend the gala after hearing Claire’s voicemail the previous night. Claire tasks him to meet potential buyers of the photographs he donated in order to help increase their bids at the auction; his photographs managed to raise eighty thousand dollars, twenty thousand dollars more than what Francis coaxed from the Holburns. Zoe, wearing the same dress she wore at the symphony that first caught Frank’s attention, attends the gala at his invitation. Her invitation comes with strings; the only reporter invited to the gala, Zoe is to feed Frank information overheard from their guests, Washington’s elite.
Out in the street, Marty Spinella speaks to reporters about the protest against the Education Reform and Achievement Act informing them that his decision to hold the protest at the CWI gala was due to his knowledge that members of the Congress are at the event. Moreover, he criticizes the Congress at the gala for their generosity towards foreigners while neglecting the teachers of their country. His statement, however, backfires as one reporter notes that the charitable donations are private money. Moreover, one of the reporters becomes incredulous of the protesters sensing that not all of them are teachers. In fact, Frank Underwood recognized them as members of the Teamsters and not the teachers union. He and his wife along with their guests offer trays of food to the protesters. Much to Marty’s consternation, the protesters accept the food and cheer with their mouths full as they receive a keg of beer from their supposed enemies. The failed protest resulted in the labor union lobbyist’s decision to hold a strike at midnight of the following day. Meanwhile, the Underwoods relishes the evening’s success with the gainful fundraiser and the defeat of the protest. They arrive home to find a dejected Peter Russo at their doorstep. The Underwoods receive him showing hospitality, but Peter knows that their warmth is only skin-deep. Peter breaks down in defeat for acquiescing to the closing of the shipyard and for taking the blame for it. Frank is disgusted of the man’s helplessness that he continues to display as he complies with his order for him to get in the bathtub and take the aspirin. He speaks to Peter of standing up for him at the DNC Leadership meeting where he proposed to keep him in contention for the Governor’s race in Pennsylvania, a proposal Frank now regrets. Frank offers him a razor blade leaving Peter with the decision to take the coward’s way out and commit suicide. Peter is too weak to take his own life that he shows up the next morning without a scratch and with hopes of becoming Pennsylvania’s next Governor. Frank agrees to help him if Peter can manage to stay sober in one month’s time.
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